


To Tend a Gardener

by habenaria_radiata



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fantasizing, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pampering, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-23 23:03:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9686018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/habenaria_radiata/pseuds/habenaria_radiata
Summary: Camilla shares an interesting philosophy on relationships with Corrin. After another crushing defeat at the hands of her older brother, earning Corrin an extension of her sentence in a gilded cage, she decides that she wants to be more than a rose surrounded by gardeners. She is determined to take care of those who would take care of her at their own expense, primarily a particular butler. But if Camilla is right, there is no rising above her nature; a flower is a flower, just as a gardener is a gardener.Pre-Fates.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

 

  
  
    Her arms were going to be sore for hours after this. They were still vibrating from the power behind Xander's thrust, in fact, and she winced as she squeezed at her bicep. She didn't need to look at him to know. Disappointment crushed at her insides.  
  
    She continued not to look at him as she knelt down, picking her sword up from the grass and sheathing it slowly. Though her neck was bent, she could feel the weight of Xander's gaze on her as heavy as a hand. She heard him sigh, and he closed the distance between them to curl his fingers along the back of her neck. Corrin looked up at him, then, her narrow brows drawn tightly and her lips pulled into an anguished frown.  
  
    Xander kissed her forehead.  
  
    "Don't look so defeated, little princess," he murmured to her. His thumb found the curve of her chin, and he coaxed her neck a little straighter. Though it hurt to look at him, she met his gaze like a dutiful sister and tried not to let her bottom lip tremble. "You're improving so quickly. You'll be ready one day."  
  
    "...But not today."  
  
    "Not today," Xander agreed. He tucked her against his chest and kissed her head again. Corrin went willingly this time, feeling more desperate than she wanted to have that sense of comfort from her older brother. "We'll practice as many times as we need."  
  
    Corrin nodded mutely as Xander let her go. She turned away from him to lope her way back inside the fortress. Her legs ached. Her arms screamed. They shook even still from her attempts to fend Xander off. How could she ever hope to match that raw strength? It hardly seemed fair. Corrin was so fast he almost couldn't hit her at all, but when he did, he devastated her. What could she possibly do to combat that?  
  
    "Poor darling!"  
  
    Corrin lifted her head with a jerk to see Camilla standing there. It was easy to forget she'd been watching in the heat of the battle. Her neck flushed a bit as she regarded her older sister and groped for what to say, but Camilla was already moving. She pulled Corrin close and embraced her tightly, one of her hands going for Corrin's tied hair and carding her fingers through it.  
  
    "It breaks my heart to see your sweet face like that. Xander is right, darling. You are so strong already." Corrin straightened her spine and nodded for her sister, trying her best to put on a brave face. But it was difficult when Camilla's silky palms cradled her face. She was so dirty and sweaty that Corrin felt a stab of guilt that Camilla should defile her hands in such a way, but Camilla clearly paid it no mind. She offered Corrin a doting smile. "I love you. You'll be ready soon. I'm sure of it."  
  
    "Thank you, big sister." Corrin lifted herself on her bare toes and kissed Camilla's cheek. Her hands and her skin...every inch of her was so soft and unblemished that it was near impossible to imagine Camilla charging into battle with her fingers curled around the handle of an axe half her size. Why couldn't Corrin be so strong?  
  
    "Of course." Camilla was so happy to cuddle her that Corrin felt helpless to deny her. She looped her arms around Camilla's waist and indulged for a moment, resting her cheek against her sister's chest.  
  
    Corrin was not traveled and cultured like Camilla was. She wasn't as strong as Xander or as smart as Leo or as bright and talented as Elise. She wasn't experienced at all when the world outside the fortress walls remained unknown and out of reach. But what she did have was love, and it was offered to her with unmatched ferocity.  
  
    She pulled away and swallowed her knot of disappointment. "I love you too, Camilla."  
  
    The woman beamed for her and patted at her cheeks. "Go rest, darling. Wash up for me, and we'll have a lovely lunch together."  
  
    Corrin nodded and took her leave. Some rest sounded heavenly, and she was dying to get out of her armor. She slipped into the castle, still rubbing surreptitiously at her arms. Camilla and Xander both seemed to have faith in her, but...Corrin was not nearly so certain of her abilities.  
  
    She let herself into her quarters with an exhausted sigh, pressing the door shut as gently could. It was true that she was loved. Love was all she had. Though she was raised all alone, her siblings never let her feel it. They visited near constantly to keep her company.  
  
    Xander was the crown prince of the kingdom. He had better things to do, yet he went out of his way to train her personally in combat. Camilla doted on her endlessly. She offered every part of herself to her siblings, especially to Corrin. She couldn't remember what it was like to have a mother, but she didn't need to when she had Camilla. Leo displayed his love other ways. He and Corrin were both voracious readers and traded books constantly. It was clear how often he thought of her when he'd produce a new tome on his visits and claim he'd known how much she would adore it. Elise brought flowers and joy and sunshine to the dreary Northern Fortress and praised her more ways than Corrin thought she deserved.  
  
    Her siblings were wonderful, and Corrin knew her life was all the better for them. She should be grateful to have them. She _was_ grateful to have them.  
  
    And yet...  
  
    And _yet_.  
  
    It wasn't enough. They were free to go as they pleased. Only Corrin was trapped like a bird. Only Corrin was weak. Only Corrin had done nothing, _displayed_ nothing to prove she deserved freedom. Elise could not have hoped to physically disarm Xander, but she wasn't expected to. She had magic like Leo. She could heal. What could Corrin do?  
  
    The disappointment arose like a tidal wave once more. She had done her best to freeze it in Camilla's embrace; here it melted like water and surged through her, threatening to escape from her throat and from her eyes. Corrin leaned forward and slammed her forehead against the door.  
  
    "Ah!"  
  
    Her eyes snapped open in surprise, and Corrin whirled around to see Jakob there with an armful of clean laundry and his mouth open in distress. Corrin's throat clamped shut, and her insides froze all at once.  
  
    "Jakob!"  
  
    Immediately, Corrin felt like an idiot. She hadn't wanted him to see her like this anymore than she wanted Camilla to. She sucked in a sharp breath and forced her lips into a smile, but she knew it was already too late. Jakob was looking at her with concern deep in his dark, beautiful eyes. He set the folded pile of laundry down and approached her. "My lady, are you alright?"  
  
    He probably thought she was hurt. Still feeling foolish, Corrin shook her head and squeezed at her arm self-consciously. "No, I- Er, I mean yes, I'm alright. I'm so sorry to worry you. Really, I'm fine."  
  
    If 'fortunate' was how she would describe herself to have her siblings, Corrin was certain there was not a word in existence that could adequately convey how lucky she was to have Jakob. Had circumstances been different, she wouldn't have her siblings at all. It was mere happenstance that she shared the blood coursing through her veins with all the rest of them. Jakob had no such biological obligation. As Corrin was loved by her brothers and sisters, so was she loved by Jakob.  
  
    But Jakob loved her because he _chose_ to.  
  
    She'd been quiet too long, she realized with a start, when Jakob had come close enough to inspect her face with a softly critical frown. Corrin felt her cheeks grow hot once again. "R- Really, Jakob."  
  
    He pulled away from her and extended a hand. Corrin took it without hesitation. Though Jakob wore truly lethal gauntlets, each joint punctuated with a skin-piercing tip, he had yet to hurt her. He was ever gentle, letting her smaller hand rest against the palm of it, and he guided her to sit at the vanity nestled in a nook near the back of her room. Corrin sank down onto the padded stool gratefully.  
  
    Jakob was quick and methodical as he stripped away her armor piece by piece. Though the gambeson she wore beneath it was damp with sweat, she still felt better to be out from beneath the weight of leather and metal. Her mood continued to improve as Jakob took a wet cloth and began to dab the beads of sweat away from her face and her neck. Truly, Corrin felt she didn't deserve him.  
  
    For a long moment, they were both silent as Jakob worked to make her presentable. As soon as her face was clean, he took her long, dark hair down and brushed it smooth. Eventually, Jakob tilted his head to regard her through the vanity mirror. "The match ended unfavorably, then?" His voice lifted as if it were a question, but Corrin could tell it wasn't really. Jakob already knew she had lost.  
  
    Her heart sank inside her, as hard as the pit of a plum, and Corrin dropped her gaze to stare at her lap. Though she wasn't looking at him, she could still see the sympathetic pinch of his lips and his brows in the mirror from the corner of her eyes. "...Camilla told me this morning that she would finally take me shopping if I won. I'm starting to believe she says that because she knows I never will."  
  
    Corrin laughed. She meant for it to sound light-hearted, as if she cared not at all that she had successfully maintained more than a decade long losing streak. But the bitterness seeped into her without her permission, coursing over her tongue and through her voice. Corrin hated it. She bit her lips hard and pressed her knees together as shame overtook her. She knew better than to accuse Camilla of such an ugly thing.  
  
    For his part, Jakob did not even question her. He stripped his gauntlets away with practiced motions and settled his hands over her shoulders, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry, Lady Corrin."  
  
    Corrin couldn't help herself. She leaned back into him and closed her eyes as he squeezed a little harder. "I just want to go shopping, Jakob. I've never even been inside of one." Something in her broke. She didn't want to tell Jakob any of this, but it poured out of her all at once. "I want to see an opera with Camilla and buy flowers with Elise and visit a book store with Leo. I want to see a ball. I want to dance. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm so sick of losing!" Her throat was so hot and tight that Corrin feared she would begin to cry. She quashed the urge as hard as possible and grit her teeth, lifting her head to stare at Jakob's reflection. "I'm sorry. I'm being awful. Please forgive me."  
  
    Jakob's hands disappeared from her shoulders, and Corrin watched him wind around her. He stepped in front of the stool to face her and held out his hands. "Don't trouble yourself, my lady. Allow me."  
  
    Corrin's heart fluttered like a dove.  
  
    Both his hands came to rest against her face with exquisite care, the very tips of his first two fingers settling along her temples. They moved in slow, rhythmic circles to tease the tension from her face. Corrin felt herself unravel in an instant. She fell slack on the stool with only Jakob for support, stroking at her face as though it were porcelain.  
  
    Corrin's eyes slipped shut. She leaned forward into Jakob's touch, helpless in the face of his promised comfort. He shifted one of his hands and drew his fingers together, tapping them lightly between Corrin's eyes and letting them spread, tracing along her forehead and up into her hair. He even massaged at the sides of her nose and beneath her eyes with his thumbs.  
  
    She never wanted it to end. No one made her feel as safe and as tender as Jakob did. Every warm brush of his skin against her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, the curve of her jaw...she trembled in the wake of every touch. He left her both satiated for love and ravenous for more.  
  
    He was so good to her she could hardly fathom it. He brushed her bangs back from her forehead, his fingers gliding through the thin strands and leaving her a mess. What must it be like to have such nimble fingers? He made it seem so effortless to make the small of her back tingle with every stroke.  
  
    And just like that, it was over. The creak of her front door startled Jakob's hands away from her face, and they both looked over to see Flora and Felicia carrying freshly cleaned sheets into the room. The twins were oblivious, of course. "Oh! Lady Corrin! You're finished already!"  
  
    Corrin nodded for her, her lips pulled into a tight smile. "Felicia. Flora. Yes, I- Xander and I are finished with training." She turned back in her seat to steal a peak up at Jakob, but his face was impossible to read. The only indication he gave that he regretted their parting was the subtle brush of his thumb along the side of her neck and jaw. With that, he pulled his gauntlets back on and indicated the washroom.  
  
    "You have impeccable timing, ladies. I believe the Lady is ready for her bath?"  
  
    Corrin hesitated before she stood. "Yes, if it's not too much trouble." Of course, it never was. Both maids tucked the cleaned sheets away before shepherding her off into the washroom. Corrin's heart panged again, and she twisted in their arms to see Jakob supervising their departure with a placid smile.  
  
    She knew it would be scandalously improper, but Corrin wished for it anyway; she was intrigued by what it would be like to have Jakob bathe her instead.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

 

    Despite its abrupt and premature end, Corrin's session with Jakob left her feeling worlds better. Xander's sound victory over her still stung if she permitted herself to think about it, but the reminders came fewer and further between as the day stretched on.  
  
    As promised, she had lunch with Camilla and spent some time with Elise in the gardens. After dinner with all four of her siblings, she retired to the library with her sisters to share some of the sweet wine Camilla brought for her.  
  
    Bless Camilla. She tried so hard. She couldn't actually take Corrin outside the fortress walls, so she did her best to bring little bits of the world inside them instead. She brought Corrin exotic accessories and flavors of tea, sweets and other snacks, and sometimes little trinkets she came across, like music boxes or hand carved hair brushes. And wine, of course.  
  
    Corrin shifted where she was lying before the hearth, her head nestled comfortably in Camilla's lap. She still had a bit of wine left in her glass, but she didn't particularly feel like finishing it. Truth be told, she didn't much care for wine. Camilla loved it, though, and it felt special to share such a thing with her. Elise was still permitted only sips at a time.  
  
    Before them, the fire crackled with enthusiasm. The rest of the library was so dark that it made for a cozy little nook. Camilla had regaled them with stories of the last opera she'd attended, sharing some of the amusing gossip she'd witnessed between nobles. Corrin had trouble remembering who was who, but Elise had found it raucously entertaining. It was nice to listen to them.  
  
    By now it was so late that Elise was fast asleep. She was curled up on the sofa behind them with her skinny arms wound around a throw pillow. Corrin heard Camilla chuckle warmly as she swiveled to check on her, and she dropped a hand to stroke at Corrin's long hair. "So cute. I would say we tuckered her out, darling."  
  
    Corrin hummed softly. She didn't want to admit it, but she was feeling rather tuckered out herself. She'd imbibed _quite_ a bit of wine, but it didn't seem to do anything more thrilling than make her sleepy. From what she'd read in some of her saucier books, alcohol was usually more exciting. Once upon a time, she had associated it with the wanton abandonment of inhibitions and sordid fun. Perhaps she wasn't doing it right.  
  
    She cracked one eye open to regard her sister as Camilla tittered to herself again. "My! You look worn out yourself, sweetheart."  
  
    Corrin yawned and shook her head. "Oh, I'm wide awake, big sister. I promise." She blinked a few times to make it seem more convincing, but Camilla wasn't having it. She smiled fondly and twined her fingers through Corrin's dark, teal-colored hair, coaxing a shiver down her spine. She loved when Camilla toyed with her hair like this.  
  
    "I always miss you so much I ache when I'm away," Camilla said suddenly. "Thank you for spending this time with me." She got comfortable with Corrin still in her lap and began coursing her fingernails along her sister's scalp. Corrin was so weak to such attention, much as she was to Jakob any time he massaged her face or her shoulders. The intentions were different, of course, but the wonderful warmth that surged through her stomach and settled into her back stayed the same.  
  
    Corrin's eyes flickered open and met her sister's own. "I miss you too, but I'm glad you come to see me so often. It means a lot to me."  
  
    Camilla smiled for her and slid her hands down to cup the back of her head and her neck. For a split second, Corrin felt strangely like an infant. Camilla lifted her up and bent down to meet her, smacking a kiss to the very tip of Corrin's nose. She set her back down and patted at her cheeks. "You're so sweet. I know it does, darling."  
  
    Silence lapsed between them as Camilla went back to playing with Corrin's hair. She petted and stroked and detangled with long, gentle strokes of her fingernails as she hummed to herself. Corrin was in heaven. She could remember Camilla doing this for her since she was small. When they were very young, Corrin would grasp at Camilla's hands and beg the girl to rock her to sleep like a baby. That she was still willing to do this for her after so long...  
  
    Corrin's eyes snapped open, and she tilted her head back. Camilla cocked her head and peered back at her with gentle expectation on her face. It was strange to notice so out of the blue, but now that she had, it seemed so obvious. Camilla carried all her expressiveness in her body. Her hands, her touch, even her gait were so animated. But her face never seemed to change much, whether she was happy, angry, or disappointed.  
  
    Corrin blinked and shook her head before she reached back to grasp at Camilla's leg. It was folded in such a way that her fingers slid between her calf and her thigh, curling around the back of her knee. "Who does this for you?" she asked.  
  
    For a moment, Camilla looked slightly puzzled. "What do you mean, darling? Who pets my hair?" Corrin nodded, and she earned an immediate chuckle from Camilla. Admittedly, she hadn't been expecting that response. "Why, no one. I like to do it for you. What kind of big sister would I be if I didn't love to take care of you?"  
  
    Corrin frowned softly. Well...she was that big sister, wasn't she? She shifted once again and turned her head to watch Elise in her sleep. Elise was the baby, but she was still doted on by Camilla, not Corrin. Corrin didn't go out of her way to snuggle with Elise as Camilla did. She could even remember one particular time Elise had asked Corrin to braid her hair, but she couldn't do it since she'd never learned.  
  
    Shame crept up low in her belly. Was she truly such an inadequate sibling?  
  
    Camilla evidently noted where she was looking, as she glanced over to Elise as well and laughed softly. "Oh, darling! It's different."  
  
    "How?"  
  
    She winced at the defensive tone in her voice and hoped Camilla didn't catch it. If she did, she didn't indicate as much. Camilla only reached down to smooth Corrin's hair out with her palm. "I suppose it's not fair to say that just because I'm the oldest. Hm... Think of it this way. Some people are like gardeners. Others are like flowers. Gardeners feel fulfilled by nurturing flowers. Flowers need to be taken care of to grow. Do you see?"  
  
    "Oh."  
  
    That struck her as an awfully binary way to look at people, but it did make sense. If Corrin thought about it, she could think of several people she might describe that way. Xander was obviously a gardener like Camilla was. He trained Corrin himself and nurtured his younger siblings in his own way. His methods were starkly different from Camilla's, but Corrin would consider them nurturing all the same. Even Leo seemed to be a gardener, in a sense. He was younger than Corrin, but he still made an effort to foster her love of books and help Elise master her magic.  
  
    A slow frown pulled across her lips again as Corrin searched Camilla's pretty eyes. It was far too corny to admit aloud, but her eyes always reminded Corrin of a peculiar gemstone; they seemed to shine red in some lights and purple in others. Here before the fire, they looked like the same blush wine they'd been sipping at all night. They also looked ever so slightly concerned.  
  
    Corrin huffed softly. "But what does a gardener get out of that? Flowers are so much work. And for what? Flowers are useless."  
  
    "Nonsense!" Camilla clucked her tongue gently. "Flowers are so beautiful. It's rewarding to see them grow and blossom. Why would anyone tend real gardens if they were truly unworthy of the effort?"  
  
    She supposed that was fair. Corrin curled up on her side with her hand still looped around Camilla's leg. She had never thought of herself in such a way. A flower. Flowers were helpless. They were planted in a tiny little plot in the earth by the whim of another, powerless to move or defend. Perhaps a flower was exactly what she was, and why she would never leave this fortress.  
  
    "I don't want to be a flower," she murmured to Camilla's thigh. Her sister sighed in amusement and tucked a stray curl behind Corrin's pointed ear.  
  
    "Oh, darling. There's nothing wrong with being a flower. Elise is a beautiful little rose, just like you. I love to take care of you. Don't feel like you're a burden. Besides, that's the ideal relationship. A gardener needs a flower."  
  
    Corrin frowned to herself once more. That didn't seem accurate. "But two gardeners could nurture each other." She looked up to see Camilla nod in agreement, her beautiful curls bouncing softly. She had no idea how Camilla managed such thick, luxurious curls so elegantly.  
  
    "That's true enough. I just don't want you to fret. There are all sorts of gardeners just waiting for the chance to take care of you."  
  
    "...I understand."  
  
    Corrin fell silent, and Camilla went back to doting on her yet more. She really was a flower, wasn't she? Even if only privately, she couldn't deny the fact. From childhood, all Camilla had to do was open her arms, and Corrin trotted to her for love like an eager kitten. Why hadn't she thought to do the same to someone else? Or to Camilla herself?  
  
    After several minutes, Camilla's hand stilled in her hair. "I'm going to take Elise to bed. Poor dear will get a crick in her neck if she stays that way."  
  
    "Oh...okay." Corrin felt so heavy and tired she didn't want to move, but she lifted herself from Camilla's lap nevertheless. As soon as her sister was out from beneath her, Corrin curled up on the rug and closed her eyes. She heard a giggle before Camilla kissed the sharp tip of her ear.  
  
    "I'll come back for you after I tuck in our baby sister."  
  
    With that, Camilla bustled away. Corrin listened to her coo to Elise and hoist her up from the couch with a swish of Elise's frilly skirt. Slowly, her footsteps faded until she could hear nothing but the fire. Corrin curled up tighter.  
  
    Something deep inside of her ached. It felt remarkably selfish to be one flower surrounded by so many eager to tend to her. What could they possibly gain? Could it be as fulfilling as Camilla claimed? She knew how much she got from the affection her siblings bestowed upon her so freely. But how could they possibly get as much satisfaction from spoiling her?  
  
    Did it have to matter?  
  
    No, Corrin, supposed. It did not.  
  
    She could be more than that. There was nothing keeping her from doting on Elise if she wanted to, or Camilla, or her brothers. And she already knew what her first order of business would be. First thing tomorrow, she was going to teach herself how to braid -- or at least find someone else to show her.  
  
    Even as she conspired to herself, Corrin tipped ever closer into sleep. It was oddly soothing to know that she was not bound by this floral destiny of hers. The shadow she'd felt settle over her felt lighter the longer she considered it. If Camilla felt so fulfilled by devoting herself to others, Corrin did not see why she couldn't learn to do the same.  
  
    She was nearly asleep when she felt the displaced air of someone kneeling down beside her. Corrin murmured something unintelligible and remained where she lay, only barely conscious. One arm slid beneath her knees, the other under her shoulders, and Corrin was lifted as if she weighed nothing. Camilla was so strong it was hardly a surprise, though. Corrin turned and tucked herself closer as she was carried all the way back to her quarters.  
  
    This last little bit of spoiling wouldn't go amiss before she fully dedicated herself to becoming a gardener, Corrin decided. The arms wrapped around her were an exquisite comfort, so warm and stable and unfaltering. She was sad to feel them slip away as her bed rose up beneath her, and the covers were drawn up over her shoulders.  
  
    Corrin sighed as a soft kiss grazed her brow. "Good night, Camilla," she whispered.  
  
    Camilla didn't answer. Instead, a faint, distinctly masculine chuckle was her only response. Corrin opened her eyes and tilted her head to see Jakob slip out of her bedroom door, closing it behind him with a gentle click.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's only self-abuse if you talk bad about yourself while you do it

* * *

 

    It was highly unusual for Corrin to remember her dreams. If she did, it was almost always because they were nightmares. Each one always started out the same: she would find herself in a foreign city that looked exactly how she had always imagined Hoshido would. It would be quiet. It would be peaceful and pretty. If anyone were to know she considered them nightmares, they would undoubtedly have found Corrin ridiculous.  
  
    But it wasn't the city that always made her feel unsafe. It was the feel in the air. It was the crystal clear certainty that she was unwelcome there.  
  
    It was also the soldiers that attacked her.  
  
    This dream was the same as all the others. She was in a peculiar looking garden, sitting alone beside a pretty pond with beautifully patterned orange and white fish. She heard them coming before she saw them. Corrin hurried to slip free of the garden before the soldiers spotted her, but it was much too late as it always was. They were already coming for her, and they herded her into a maze of narrow alley ways as if they were hounds chasing after a particularly juicy rabbit.  
  
    Her heart pounded in her ears. Fear slid up into her veins like ice. No matter how many times her waking self pored over every nightmare, her dream self was driven by panic as though each time were the first.  
  
    She was caged in on either side, tense and waiting to feel the pierce of arrows, when an arm came around her waist and pulled her close. She turned to see Jakob standing beside her like a savior, holding her tightly and drawing a deadly looking knife from the holster at his thigh.  
  
    All at once, the fear dissolved. Her butler was near superhuman in his capabilities, but she knew anyone else would think it absurd that she could possibly believe he could protect her from an army of faceless enemies. Corrin may not have believed it...but her dream self did. She closed her eyes and pressed her face to Jakob's chest, taking in the feeling of stiff fabric against her nose and her lips.  
  
    Corrin awoke safely tucked in her bed. She felt sluggish and heavy, but if she concentrated, she was sure she could still smell Jakob's cologne. She sighed and lay back, tilting her head into her pillow and drawing her thighs together.  
  
    Though the parting was still so fresh, Corrin already missed her dream terribly. She longed to know the reality of that full-bodied embrace. Jakob already did more to spoil her than she had a right to ask of him, but still she ached for more; for Jakob to pull her close and hold her tight and let her grasp at every inch of him. It must be so much more satisfying than a dream.  
  
    With a dozy hum, Corrin shifted in the sheets tangled around her legs. As innocent as her dream had been, her body didn't seem to be deterred. A lazy sort of heat seeped between her legs, making itself known but offering no demands. She could choose not to satisfy it if she wanted. It would go away in a few minutes if she simply let it, but Corrin found that she didn't feel inclined to do so. Rather, she was in the mood to indulge. Her hands slipped between the sheets, two of her fingers gliding beneath the band of her panties and peeling them down her legs.  
  
    It occurred to her that she might be embarrassed that merely being hugged by her beloved retainer in a dream was enough to make her so hungry for his touch. Truthfully, though, she wasn't. It felt right to gratify that softly amorous heat, and she curled her fingers along the smooth curve of her vulva.  
  
    Corrin's eyes flickered open, and she tilted her head to glance out the window. The sky was a soft, muted grey, and the windows were dappled with the last vestiges of a storm she must have slept through. It was a perfect morning to get in touch with herself like this -- so to speak. She'd felt so fragile the past couple of days that she needed it. Besides, if she was really going to dedicate herself to learning to take care of others, then practicing on herself seemed as good an idea as any.  
  
    She sighed happily and hunkered down beneath the heavy blankets, her fingertips skating lightly along her own bare skin. Usually, Corrin didn't bother to shave herself like this. After all, she hardly concerned herself with anyone's opinion of what her body looked like when no one was meant to see it save herself and her maids, and shaving was a lot of work. But she loved the way her skin felt the day after. Without coarse hair running beneath the pads of her fingertips, it was like stroking warm silk.  
  
    For a long, luxurious moment, Corrin did little more than that. It wasn't often she was afforded more than a few minutes of desperate rubbing with her ears pricked for the sound of the door. She took the time to savor it, to cultivate her pleasure with the same love and tenderness that Jakob did when he would stroke her face.  
  
    Jakob... Jakob was undoubtedly a gardener. Of course he was. She was sure he'd never be as rough with her as she frequently had to be with herself. He would take his time. It was so easy to imagine him cradling the insides of her delicate thighs, his thumbs gliding along the plush skin of her labia. Would he like the sensation as much as she did?  
  
    A shiver stole down her spine just as her windows lit up with a soft pulse of lightning. Corrin fancied that the sharp tingles in her back felt just like lightning would, buzzing beneath her flesh and stealing the breath from her lungs. The warmth built inside her as she stoked it with her fingers. It felt exquisite, but Corrin was surprised to feel no impatience biting at her. She felt as if she could do this for hours.  
  
    The only thing that prevented her from doing just that was the knowledge that she would soon be interrupted. With a tiny sigh, Corrin slid her right thumb and brushed it over the swollen hood of her clit. A deeply amorous breath plumed from her throat as the sensation of pure pleasure coasted through her limbs, and the heat inside her lifted so much it burned between her thumb and her belly button.  
  
    As a word, clit didn't seem to do justice to such a pretty thing. She loved the way it felt beneath her fingertips. Drawing her thumb back, she eased her index finger against it, pushing into the side and tracing the shape of it. It was like rolling a pearl trapped beneath skin. She did it again with her other finger, delighting in every shiver that gripped her. Gods, she wished Jakob would touch her like this.  
  
    She wanted to feel his hands on her. She wanted to have his lips on her neck, on her collar, on her chest. She wanted to feel his fingertips trace the curves between her breasts and her ribs. She wanted to feel his fingers inside of her, tending her pleasure just as if she were the fragile rose Camilla had insisted she was.  
  
    She wanted to kiss him.  
  
    As her pleasure mounted faster and faster, so did Corrin's breathing. She swallowed and tilted her head back, her legs spreading beneath the blankets and her hips rolling up from the bed. With great care, Corrin slipped her left pinkie in between her clit and her inner labia and drew it tight. All the while, she caressed at her clit, her finger falling into a steady rhythm.  
  
    She was so close. Her toes curled tight against the sheets, her knees splayed and her fingers starting to move with inelegant abandon. _Jakob_ , her mind begged, as if Jakob might feel her desperation for him and come running. _I love you. I want you._  
  
    Corrin gasped as her pleasure sharpened like the tip of a gauntlet. Her body jerked so hard her bottom came away from the bed, and she found orgasm with her fingers pressed tightly to her clit. Thin pieces of her hair clung to her face where sweat had sprung up like dew, and her eyes were no doubt glazed with her ecstasy.  
  
    With another sigh, Corrin sank back down on the bed and drew her hand out from between her thighs. It took a few minutes to catch her breath, but when she did, Corrin sat up and pulled her legs together.  
  
    It seemed silly to say, but Corrin had never had such a...fruitful time flying solo (as if she flew any other way). She felt amazing. Her heart was still fluttering wildly inside her, and her crotch ached a bit. Perhaps she'd clenched too hard. She didn't mind it, though; it felt like a fitting testament.  
  
    Today would be perfect. She had already decided. But as soon as she had, her bedroom door swung open to allow Jakob inside, trailed by Felicia and Flora. Corrin's stomach twisted sharply. The tips of her ears grew hot. What if Jakob knew what she had done? Would he be disgusted if he knew she was thinking of him?  
  
    "Oh, you're awake!" Flora offered her a kind smile from beside Jakob's shoulder. "How unusual. Good morning, Lady Corrin."  
  
    Corrin nodded back and rubbed her eye. "Y- Yes! Good morning, Flora. Good morning, Felicia." Hesitantly, she lifted her eyes to see Jakob. He didn't look disgusted. Merely surprised. "Good morning, Jakob."  
  
    He smiled sweetly for her and extended a hand. "Good morning, my lady."  
  
    Corrin was desperate to take it. Instead, Corrin flopped down onto her back and slowly drew the covers over her head. Felicia giggled at her. "Not so good morning, then?" she asked. Corrin made a non-committal noise back at her as she groped beneath the sheets for her panties. They were still caught around her ankle. With some effort, she shimmied back into them, hoping desperately that the other three didn't realize exactly what she was doing.  
  
    She tugged the band over her hips as the covers disappeared out from over her head, and she turned to see Jakob leaning over her with an expression that was distinctly amused, but also sympathetic. "...Shall we give you another ten minutes?" he teased. Corrin softened and stared back at his face.  
  
    How was he so beautiful? The shape of his eyes tugged at her heart, and she could stare at his lashes in the sunlight all day. She wanted to.  
  
    She wanted to do a lot of things. As much as she wanted Jakob to touch her, to caress and kiss her, she wanted to do the same to him. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and rub at the smooth expanse of his back and touch him through his flawlessly pressed slacks.  
  
    "...Lady Corrin?"  
  
    Corrin blinked at him and tried not to look like she'd just been fantasizing about him even as he'd stared at her. "No. It's okay, Jakob." He straightened as Corrin moved to sit, and she dropped her legs over the edge of the bed. Thank goodness she'd left her nightgown on.  
  
    He didn't seem to notice anything amiss. None of them did. For not the first time, Corrin thanked the very stars that her dear retainers couldn't read her mind. She offered them a tired smile and pushed her sleep-mussed hair over her shoulders. Jakob held out his hand a second time, and this time, Corrin took it.  
  
    She squeezed gently at Jakob's fingers, mourning ever so slightly that she couldn't feel his bare skin.  
  
    If nothing else, she was glad for her session. Even if only a little, for the first time, Corrin thought she might understand what it must be like to be a gardener.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

 

    The morning was still young when Corrin decided that her declaration that the day would be perfect was made a little prematurely. She'd excused herself from breakfast and retired to her room to try and teach herself to braid so she could surprise Elise, but every attempt proved more embarrassing than the last.  
  
    She'd known better than to say 'how hard could it be?' out loud. She just hadn't known that thinking it would be just as disastrous. Corrin knew what braids looked like. Her retainers frequently bound one around the side of her head when they put her hair up into her favored side tail. But she'd never actually seen them do it, and she couldn't replicate it to save her life.  
  
    Frustration bubbled up inside her as she stared down at the twisted pair of ribbons lying sadly on her bedding. Corrin had never imagined it would escape her so thoroughly, but no matter how many times she tried, all she could make was a spiral of fabric. How very humiliating.  
  
    Feeling utterly dejected, Corbin pinched each ribbon between her fingertips and peeled them apart to give it another shot. She was obviously missing something. Perhaps she was supposed to push up while she twisted. Ugh, what a mess. Thank goodness she wasn't practicing on someone's actual hair.  
  
    Yet again, she got halfway down the length of satin when she dropped it onto her comforter and leaned away from it to cover her face. How could this possibly be so difficult?  
  
    The creak of her heavy wooden door jarred her from her fuming. Corrin turned her head to see Jakob let himself into the room, then very nearly drop the box he was carrying in his surprise. "My Lady, I beg your pardon." Smoothly, he righted the box as though it had never moved at all, though he hesitated at the door. "I thought you would be training with Lord Xander this morning. Please, forgive me for interrupting."  
  
    Corrin shook her head at him quickly. "It's alright, Jakob. Don't apologize. I would have been training, but today is the last day of their visit. I didn't want to ask Xander to tire himself out training me right before they have to travel back home. Besides, I figured he could stand a break from me." That and her pride was still smarting, but she didn't want to tell Jakob that.  
  
    He looked like he wanted to argue. He seemed to change his mind, as he offered none and simply nodded his acknowledgement. Corrin was curious what he wanted to say, but her attention was rather arrested by the box. What was he carrying? She was awfully intrigued to know, but before she could ask, Jakob stepped away from her and disappeared into her closet.  
      
    As much as she wanted to know, it was probably none of her concern. She had no doubt that if it was pertinent to her, Jakob would have volunteered it. Feeling guilty for her nosiness, Corrin dropped her head and spotted the little ribbons lying in front of her. She made a deeply sour face and picked them up to draw them apart yet again. By then, she could no longer remember how many attempts she'd made.  
  
    When Jakob resurfaced once more, he paused before her bed, his eyes lingering on the strips of fabric in her hands. Corrin felt her entire face heat up. She could feel the blush flaring beneath her skin, and it annoyed her to no end. She hadn't wanted anyone to know that she couldn't do something so simple, but if it had to be someone, she was relieved that it would be Jakob.  
  
    Corrin cleared her throat and laid them down flat. "I- I can't make a braid," she confessed. "I'm...trying to teach myself."  
  
    Jakob did not laugh at her like she half expected. When she realized that she had expected it at all, even only half-way, Corrin felt a stab of horrible guilt that she could think so poorly of her butler. Jakob had never said an unkind word to her in her life. She had no reason to feel self-conscious in front of him.  Rather than poke fun at her, Jakob brightened as if he understood entirely, and he reached up to unlace the bow from his own hair and present it to her. "Aha. A very simple fix, my lady."  
  
    Corrin took it from him, feeling both charmed and a little mystified. "I need three? But it only looks like two strands. When I try, they just make a spiral."  
  
    Again, Jakob made no move to tease her. Without missing a beat, he slid onto the side of the bed beside her and took all three ribbons in between his fingers. "Let me show you."  
  
    Jakob did.  
  
    He held the first ribbon in his left hand, the other two in his right, and he twined all three ribbons together to form a neat, flawless braid. "There we are. You must leave one strand in the middle at all times and braid the other two around it. Does that help?"  
  
    It did help. Corrin took the braid from him and admired it. He'd done it so effortlessly! He made it look as simple as she felt it should have been. It seemed a shame to undo his work, but Jakob encouraged her to practice herself. Corrin unbound them and copied his movements, a little slower and more awkward than he had. But by the time she was finished, she had an actual, proper braid in her hands.  
  
    She looked up at the man feeling quite windswept. "Thank you so much, Jakob."  
  
    He did laugh then, but there was nothing mocking about it. "I assure you, Lady Corrin, it's my pleasure."  
  
    His words gave Corrin pause. It was his pleasure to take time out of his busy day to teach her something she should have learned ten years ago. From anyone else, such a sentiment would sound like an empty platitude. Perhaps it was that she so sorely wanted to believe it, but it sounded so sincere coming from Jakob.  
  
    Her eyes roved over his face. She loved how unruffled he always appeared. Everything about him was neat and unhurried, as if he had everything under control at all times. He certainly seemed to. She admired the faint curl of the hair that framed his jaw and was overcome with the desire to touch it. Camilla always played with her hair and it seemed to make her bones melt. Did anyone ever play with Jakob's?  
  
    Corrin hadn't, and she suspected that no one else had either. In fact, Corrin realized with a start, she had never touched Jakob at all. Throughout their entire relationship, she had only ever accepted Jakob's touches. She would take his hand when he offered. She'd allow him to support her weight when she trained too hard. She let him touch and massage at her face and her bangs, and though such intimate gestures were unbecoming of the nature of their relationship, Jakob had.  
  
    But she had never made any attempt to touch him at all.  
  
    Corrin's stomach twisted on sharp tines of shame and remorse. It could not simply be enough that she was a flower; she had to be one with thorns of thoughtless selfishness. It had never even occurred to her to show him the kind of physical appreciation he showed to her.  
  
    Still beside her, Jakob brushed a gentle thumb against her shoulder and startled her from her sudden onset of self-deprecation. He was frowning gently. "Are you alright, my lady? You've been very quiet the past few days."  
  
    Corrin met his eyes and swallowed against the stab of heat in her throat. "Can I practice on you?" she blurted.  
  
    Jakob's face hardly changed, but Corrin could tell he wasn't expecting such a request. "I'm sorry?"  
  
    "Your hair. Can I practice braiding?"  
  
    She felt so ridiculous springing such a thing on him, but she was desperate to rectify all the ways she had so wronged him. As much as she wanted that, though, Jakob looked deeply unsure how to respond to it.  
  
    Eventually, Jakob offered her a nod, his face softening and his lips curling into a small smile. "Of course, my lady."  
  
    The breath rushed out of her as Jakob turned away from her. He straightened his hips and faced the wall, presenting his back to Corrin and offering her access to his beautiful hair. It was so neat and pretty that Corrin feared she would ruin it it with her ungainly attempts to groom it. Fortunately, her curiosity overrode her fear with little effort, and she crawled up behind him to admire him.  
  
    Jakob always wore his hair in a simple ponytail at the back of his head, though his usual ribbon was still wrapped up in the practice braid she'd made. Carefully, Corrin slid her nail beneath the band holding his hair up and peeled it away. It fell around his shoulders, the pale strands catching the light of her bedroom. The color was so fascinating to her. No matter what others said, it seemed wrong to label it as simply 'grey'. Gunter's hair was grey. Jakob's hair had a distinct undertone of lavender to it that Corrin had always adored.  
  
    She took a deep breath and reached for it to touch it for the first time, her fingers slipping through the strands like water. She was really doing this. Though Jakob had done her hair for her more times than she could count, she felt like this was the most intimate she'd ever dared to be with him. It felt...delicious.  
  
    Corrin enjoyed the girlish flutter of her heartbeat as she brushed through Jakob's hair with her fingers. She didn't actually have a proper brush to use, but she was glad for the excuse to do things a little more manually. She liked doing it. Jakob's hair was thin and sleek like her own, falling into place no matter what she did with it.  
  
    She allowed herself a few moments to indulge before she finally sectioned his hair out into three pieces and began to braid them. She had thought it would be simple after the fabric, but hair proved a bit less manageable. She hadn't realized the middle was so much thinner than the sections on either side of it until she'd finished the braid and found it uneven and awkward looking.  
  
    Corrin bit her lip. Jakob glanced over his shoulder as if he might be able to survey her work, and he offered her an encouraging smile. "How fares your first attempt?"  
  
    "...Not great," Corrin answered honestly.  
  
    Jakob chuckled to himself and straightened again. "I'm sure it's beautiful."  
  
    It really wasn't, but Corrin wasn't going to rebuff his encouragement like that. She let go of the end and separated the braid with careful fingers, ever mindful of tugging or snagging. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.  
  
    She practiced a few more times, each braid looking neater than the last. Despite the fact that it was such a simple thing, it made Corrin feel accomplished. She was really enjoying this a lot. She liked letting her nails rake gently along Jakob's scalp. She liked the idea that she could make him feel as good as he made her feel all the time.  
  
    As Corrin took down the fifth braid she made, she didn't attempt another. Instead, she spread her fingers wide and cradled the back of Jakob's head to scratch lightly at his skin. She felt the edges of her nails brush against the backs of his ears and shifted, curling her thumbs around them and rubbing slowly. She heard the breath hitch in his throat and hoped that it was more than just surprise. She wanted so badly for him to like it.  
  
    "Lady Corrin-"  
  
    Fear lanced through her at his tone, and she hoped desperately he wasn't about to ask her to stop. But if he hated it, she hardly wanted to force him to sit through her clumsy attempts at affection. She shifted anxiously and dropped her hands to his back. "Should I stop?"  
  
    He clearly didn't know how to respond to that. He wasn't even facing her, which probably made things a little more awkward than they had to be. More than likely, he simply didn't know what she was trying to do.  
  
    The silence dragged on for a bit until Jakob relaxed beneath her hands. "No, my lady."  
  
    Happiness and relief surged through her all at once. Perhaps she was getting her wish after all. Warmly, Corrin squeezed at Jakob's shoulders, delighting in her ability to do so before she went back to raking her fingers through his long hair. "Jakob, when we're alone, you don't have to address me like that. You can just call me Corrin." She'd prefer that, she thought. She loved hearing her name in his voice, but the 'Lady' before it always put an insurmountable distance between them. She feared he would always view her as an employer. A charge.  
  
    A burden.  
  
    Corrin tried to ignore the sudden discomfort needling at her, and she let her fingers glide along the nexus of Jakob's neck and shoulders. From there, she couldn't feel it, but she imagined that if she slid her fingers a little further forward, she would be able to feel the steady throb of his pulse beneath her fingertips. She wanted to feel it with her lips as she kissed at his throat. She always loved reading her heroines being treated the same way in her steamy romance novels. It seemed so wonderfully intimate to be able to feel someone's heartbeat through their flushed skin.  
  
    She was no longer even pretending to want to practice on his hair. Corrin tried to force herself to focus, not wanting it to end. But she didn't doubt she was keeping Jakob from doing more important things than entertaining her rather unvirtuous whims.  
  
    Corrin sighed. She felt bereft and he hadn't even left her. She tossed her head and split Jakob's hair into three pieces again, but this time, she made the sections on either side much thinner. These, she split into another three pieces and braided carefully. They were neat and, dare she say, perfect. With exquisite care, she pulled the remainder of Jakob's hair into a smooth tail and tied the braids up into it on either side. It actually looked very fancy. She was impressed with herself.  
  
    Feeling better, she reached over for the braided fabric and undid it to lace Jakob's ribbon around the ponytail she'd made.  
  
    "What do you think?" She sat back on her calves and reached for his biceps to squeeze them softly. "You can tell me if you hate it, I promise I won't be upset. I know I'm still not very good." Corrin climbed out of the bed so she could guide Jakob to her vanity. She picked up a hand mirror so that he could actually see the side braids she'd made to frame the ponytail.  
  
    Jakob took the time to peer in the mirror before he beamed for her. "I love it," he announced, turning to her and bowing low. Corrin couldn't help but laugh, even as her cheeks burned pink. "Very chic. You did a marvelous job, my lady."  
  
    That made Corrin's face fall. He hadn't actually responded to her request. He obviously didn't want to call her by her first name alone. Had she been too forward in asking him? "Jakob-"  
  
    He caught one of her hands and brushed the pad of his thumb along the back of it. "I cannot describe to you how deeply I appreciate the sentiment," he murmured to her, peering at Corrin very seriously. "But I would hate to get into such a habit. Know that as much as it is your proper title, it is one I feel you would deserve with or without the blood in your veins. You are every bit a lady, and that's a respect you deserve both in and out of the privacy of your bedroom."  
  
    Oh. Corrin's throat felt tight and hot. She'd never met another person who could turn her knees to jelly with words alone. A watery sort of smile seized her lips. "...I understand."  
  
    With his hand still caught around her own, Jakob watched Corrin with another unreadable expression on his face. He didn't seem angry, though. Slowly, Jakob lifted her hand higher and bent low to kiss the back of it. Corrin clutched helplessly at his fingers.  
  
    "Was your practice satisfactory?" he asked, straightening once more and standing tall. Corrin nodded slowly.  
  
    "Yes. Thank you, Jakob. I know you must be very busy."  
  
    The smile he gave her made her heart leap into her throat. "My lady, neither myself, nor my hair, are ever too busy for anything you might require of us. I'm happy to let you practice anything you like. Within reason."  
  
    Corrin laughed again. Jakob was too good for this world. Very likely, he was also too good for her.  
  
    "Thank you, Jakob." She took her hand back with regret and let him go. He excused himself, and Corrin watched him go with her heart still racing inside her. Heat spread low inside her. She should have asked him if he would let her practice kissing with him too, but she imagined she already knew what he might say to that.

    She wasn't sure her heart could handle the sting of that rejection just yet.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

 

 

    Corrin felt like she was getting quite comfortable with hair. Satisfied, she tied off the second braid she made and draped it over Elise's delicate shoulder. "There we are! What do you think?"  Personally, Corrin thought she looked adorable. The twin braids framed her cherubic face, and the threads of dyed purple hair twined through each plait were darling.  They were awfully thick, though. Corrin was rather in awe of how much hair Elise had. Quite possibly, it was even fuller than Camilla's.  
  
    "Ooh! Let me see!" Elise reached beside her to pick up the silver hand mirror Corrin had brought for that exact purpose, and she admired her reflection in the glass. "Ahh! They're so cute! Thank you, big sister!" She twisted in between Corrin's thighs and hugged her neck tightly. Corrin squeezed her back. It felt wonderful to be able to do such a thing for her baby sister. It was such a simple thing to offer, but Elise obviously appreciated it. She had never imagined it could feel so rewarding to just dote on another person.  
  
    Elise turned back over to get comfortable in Corrin's lap once again. "I'm almost done," she announced. "Just a few more!" Over her shoulder, Corrin watched curiously. While she was busy braiding, Elise had been chaining pretty daisies together to make a little circlet. Corrin had seen her make them before, but she'd never actually _watched_ her do it. It was oddly soothing to follow the rhythmic motions of Elise poking the narrow edge of her fingernail through the base of each flower stem and threading another flower through the eye.  
  
    When Elise finally finished, she presented the crown to Corrin with a sunny smile. Corrin beamed back at her and took it, but she moved to settle the crown over Elise's head rather than her own. It complemented the braids very well indeed. She made for quite the pastoral princess, and Corrin found it terribly charming.  
  
    "Perfect," she assured her. Corrin sat back against the tree and coaxed Elise after her. It was such a lovely day. There were still soft grey clouds pulled across the sky, but there were occasional seams split wide enough to allow the sunshine to filter through. It was comfortable, and Elise was perfectly happy to sit in her lap and pull Corrin's arms around her.  
  
    Desperately, Corrin tried not to think about how much she was dreading her siblings' departure. Truth be told, she was self-conscious of the intensity of it. After all, it was hardly as though being amputated from them was anything new. As her brothers and sisters came, so they went, and it had been like that all her life. Corrin usually handled it better, but this time the parting seemed to sting more.  
  
    Perhaps it was because she felt she was making so much progress. She had spent all morning with Elise to offer her affection. She doted on her just like Camilla did, and she'd even painted her toenails for the first time. They looked horrible, but Elise had promised that she loved the lopsided flowers Corrin had made on her big toes. She had a reading session with Leo and tried to play with his hair, but he'd gotten flustered and swatted her away. He seemed embarrassed more than offended, so she had meant to ask him if she could try again, but she had already missed her chance. They were to leave right after lunch.  
  
    Corrin sighed into the top of Elise's head and rested her cheek against her crown. She felt small hands clutch at her elbows, and she looked down to see Elise squirming to get a look up at her. The girl frowned sweetly. "Are you okay, Corrin? You've been so sad lately."  
  
    It was a bit diminishing to know that her dejection was so obvious to everyone, but Corrin felt she didn't have the right to be surprised. Her siblings knew her very well indeed. Better than she knew herself, if she'd learned anything over the course of this particular visit.  
  
    She forced a smile for Elise's benefit and kissed her temple. No doubt her sister thought it strange that Corrin was going out of her way to be affectionate after she'd spent the last few years looking for it herself instead, but if that was indeed what she thought, Elise was kind enough not to say so. "I'm fine. I'm just going to miss you when you go, that's all."  
  
    Immediately, Elise looked so upset that Corrin wished she could take it back. "Aww! I'm so sorry! I'll miss you too!" Elise twisted around and latched onto Corrin as hard as possible. As sweet as it was, it knocked the breath out of her a bit, and Corrin wheezed as she tried to loop one arm around Elise's waist.  
  
    "It's alright. I'm not upset. I know you'll come visit me again soon, right?"  
  
    Elise popped away from her and tossed her a dazzling grin. It always lit up her entire face, which Corrin admired. Her own smiles always felt...muted in comparison. "Yeah! I promise!"  
  
    From the side of the courtyard, a warm chuckle sounded, and they both turned to see Camilla leaning against the stone archway leading back inside the fortress. "Lunch is ready, girls. Elise, go wash your hands, darling." The face Camilla made at them indicated that Elise was probably pouting at her, but Corrin couldn't see her to verify.  
  
    "Oh...okay."  
  
    With some assistance from Corrin, Elise got to her feet and scampered out of the courtyard to wash up. Corrin followed suit, but she paused at the archway as she noted the expression on Camilla's face. The woman was smiling faintly, but her eyebrows were drawn into a distinctive curve that usually meant she had something to say. A little anxiously, Corrin straightened her back. "Is everything okay, big sister?"  
  
    "Of course." Camilla's smile widened, and she closed the distance between them to plant her lips between Corrin's eyes. "I'm just worried about you. You really took our little flower talk to heart, didn't you?"  
  
    Ah. Of course she had noticed. Corrin hadn't necessarily thought that she didn't _want_ Camilla to realize what she was doing, but now that it was made so obvious that she had, Corrin felt strange about it. It occurred to her that such purposeful affection might lose its meaning if they all knew why she was doing it. Corrin shifted her weight to her other foot and tried her best to mask her guilt. "It's not like that. I'm glad you told me."  
  
    Camilla sighed and reached for Corrin's hair to toy with it as if she were simply drawn to. "I hope you know it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings. I would never hurt you."  
  
    Her tone made Corrin feel horrible. "I know you wouldn't. It didn't hurt my feelings. I just...I want to be more than that, that's all." Camilla didn't look particularly impressed with her explanation. She propped her fists against her hips and regarded Corrin with a tiny frown. Before she could say the piece that was near visibly dancing at the tip of her tongue, however, Corrin held up her hands. "I know you said there's nothing wrong with it. Being a flower. I just know how much I like it when you take care of me, and I can do that for other people. I want to _be_ that for other people."  
  
    Camilla fell silent at that. Eventually, she inclined her head and reached up to cup Corrin's face. "You're so sweet. I adore you, darling." Even as Camilla was kissing her nose, Corrin felt herself frowning. She wasn't sweet. If she were, she wouldn't have needed it pointed out to her that all she did was take without giving anything back. It felt like getting a compliment intended for someone else entirely.  
  
    Corrin said none of this and only leaned into Camilla's embrace. "Thanks for understanding." Together, she and Camilla parted and made their way back inside the fortress to join their siblings. She opened the door to let Camilla in, who cooed at her politeness, but before she slid in after her, Corrin paused. "...Wasn't there a table there?" There was a conspicuous blank spot on the wall where a narrow table had once stood -- she thought.  
  
    "What's the matter, dear?" Camilla called. Corrin simply shook her head and stepped into the dining hall where the rest of their siblings were waiting.  
  
    "Nevermind. It's nothing."  
  
    Lunch was quiet, but it was still nice. Elise was terribly proud of her braids and showed them off to Leo, who could not possibly have looked less interested if he'd actually made the effort to. But a truly arctic gaze from Camilla prompted him to at least offer a verbal compliment before he went back to his food and left Elise to bask in her cheerfulness. The castle was going to be so quiet with them gone...again.  
  
    As soon as the food was cleared away, Corrin felt the knot of upset building in her throat. Their luggage was gathered, and Corrin escorted her siblings to the front gates to bid them goodbye. Why did it hurt so much this time? She couldn't fathom why when she had done it hundreds of times. Goodbyes should have been second nature for her.  
  
    Camilla held her face and kissed her soundly. "I love you, darling sister. Keep practicing and I know you'll beat this brute some day."  
  
    From behind her, standing stiffly at Camilla's shoulder, Xander snorted. "...We'll return soon." As Camilla let her go, Corrin found herself swept up in Xander's embrace. She melted against him and gripped his shoulders tightly, and he took the opportunity to speak low into her ear. "She's right, though. While I may take umbrage with her rather uncharitable choice of words, I have faith you'll best me before long. Take care of yourself, little princess. Practice hard."  
  
    She felt bereft the moment he released her, but she smiled nonetheless and nodded. "Thank you, big brother. I'll miss you."  
  
    Leo allowed her to hug him, but Corrin pointedly held her embrace until he grudgingly returned the gesture. Corrin suspected he was still sore that she was taller than him, and she indulged in a giggle at his expense. That, or he was still mad at her for her attempts at affection, which was far less amusing. Pushing that aside, she turned to Elise last and pulled her close. "Goodbye, baby sister."  
  
    "Bye, Corrin! I'll miss you so much! I'll write you more letters!"  
  
    "Please do." With a soft chuckle, Corrin pulled her arms away and adjusted the girl's tilted flower crown. "Be good for me? Be good for Camilla, rather. Don't make her scold you too much."  
  
    She stood back and watched them go with her chin held high and a smile plastered tightly over her mouth. They would be back soon. They always came back soon.  
  
    She stood at the gates she wasn't allowed past until she couldn't see them anymore. The moment they disappeared, Corrin felt herself collapse inwardly. Her throat and her eyes burned. What was _wrong_ with her?  
  
    Impatience with herself reared sharply, and Corrin snorted in disdain. She was being ridiculous. Perhaps she just needed some tea and good reading to calm her down. The idea of losing herself in a book made her feel better, but her stomach continued roiling with a vengeance as she trudged back inside the fortress. The stone felt unbearably cold against the soles of her bare feet, and the yawning silence of the interior compounded the loneliness that gripped her. She missed them already.  
  
    Corrin retreated to the library to look for something familiar to bury her nose in. She didn't particularly want to think just then; something warm and cozy and happy would do wonders. But as she browsed the same shelves she'd pawed through thousands of times, she paused as she noticed that a tea tray was left on a table near the fireplace. She cocked her head. It was from the tea she'd had with Leo that morning. She had never seen anyone leave dishes out so long. Jakob was always on the ball to clear away anything fragile before poor Felica could make the attempt.  
  
    How odd.  
  
    "Aha! There you are, my lady." Corrin lifted her head to see Jakob looking surprisingly eager. He wasn't usually so emotive, but he was smiling very genuinely as he approached her. Corrin offered him a baffled sort of smile in return.  
  
    "Here I am! Is everything okay? You seem like you're in a good mood!"  
  
    To her infinite surprise, Jakob swept her up in one arm and escorted her from the library. "My lady, you must hurry. They're almost open!" The longer he spoke, the more and more confused she grew. What was open?  
  
    "Jakob, what-"  
  
    "The boutique, my lady," he said earnestly. "I fear the line shall be out the door!"  
  
    His sincerity left her as flustered as she was confused. Though she hadn't the faintest idea what was going on, she let herself be guided all the way to her room. At her door, Jakob released her long enough to grasp the handle and open it with a flourish. The moment he did, Corrin felt her stomach bottom out.  
  
    The entire room was unrecognizable. Long strips of beautiful ivory and pink striped fabric were stretched from floor to ceiling, obscuring her bookshelves and hiding her bed and the dreary stone walls. The rest of her furniture seemed to have disappeared.  
  
    But the room wasn't empty. Oh, no. There were several wooden tables set up in neat rows with jewelry laid out across them. Some of the pieces she recognized, but others she had never seen before. There were rings and necklaces spread across pretty black velvet, golds and silvers and multi-colored gemstones sparkling brilliantly in the sunlight that peeked through her windows.  
  
    Corrin looked up to see that there were narrow bars of ice sculpted into racks that held dresses as far as she could see. Near the front of the room, Flora and Felicia stood side by side in matching dresses, and they offered her brilliant smiles. She felt as though her heart had stopped.   
  
    Felicia lifted her hand. "Welcome to the boutique, Lady Corrin!" At once, she and Flora bowed low.  
  
    Corrin whirled on Jakob with her mouth open and her eyes wide and watery. "Th- this- a store? A boutique!" It flooded out of her all at once. Awe and delight and overwhelming excitement gripped her so hard that Corrin laughed almost hysterically. "This is a store! This is what a store looks like!"  
  
    It was _amazing_.  
  
    Corrin covered her face with both hands and finally stepped inside with Jakob close behind her. There were brand new clothes she didn't recognize, and the jewelry made her dizzy. She didn't even wear jewelry, but seeing it laid before her made her desperately want to.  
  
    She turned to Jakob again. "I- I don't know what to do," she confessed. She was dying to embrace him, to grab his face and make him understand how much this meant to her.  
  
    But before she could do that, Jakob stepped in front of her. He produced a small bag that rattled with the motion, and he cupped the back of her hand to turn it over and place the bag in her open palm. Corrin drew it open to see gold coins inside. "Oh, that's quite simple," he said, his voice warm and quiet. "Shop to your heart's content, my lady."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your sweet comments! I'm so happy that this fic has enjoyed such a positive reception.
> 
> After this, I'll be posting two more chapters, and To Tend a Gardener will come to a close. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I deeply appreciate your time and your patience!

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    There were so many things to look at that Corrin had no idea where to start. She couldn't believe how many dresses were packed into her room. Everything was so beautiful and neat that she couldn't believe they'd set it up in just one morning.  
  
    Corrin groped behind her to grasp at Jakob's sleeve, as if she were afraid he would leave her to deal with this sensory overload by herself. "I- I don't know what I'm shopping for."  
  
    As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt ridiculous. Obviously the only things in the 'shop' were clothes and jewelry, but even so, she needed something to look for to feel less overwhelmed.  
  
    Beside her, Jakob chuckled and produced something from his pocket that he offered it to Corrin. "The ball, naturally. Try not to fret, my lady. Between the three of us, we'll ensure that you're the belle of the evening."  
  
    Slowly, Corrin took it from him. The parchment was thick and wonderfully textured, and on the surface of it, Corrin recognized Flora's beautiful looping handwriting. Corrin was cordially invited to her own bedroom later that day for an evening of dancing. Her hands shook around the beautiful invitation, and she managed a breathless laugh. "The ball. Of course. How could I forget?"  
  
    Gently, Jakob took it back and squeezed at her elbow. "Let's start over here." He guided her over to a rack near the back of the room. Being away from all the sparkly jewelry actually helped her focus a little more. Corrin laughed again and reached for the dresses to begin looking through them. Many of them already belonged to her, but she was delighted each time she uncovered one she'd never seen before. There was a gorgeously dramatic black and red dress with a harlequin pattern along the skirt. Behind it was a satiny plum colored gown that looked sleek and form-fitting, and behind that was a cute peach colored dress.  
  
    "Which ones should I get?" How on earth could she possibly choose when there were so many?  
  
    Flora tittered at her. "You can try on as many as you like, my lady. There's a dressing room in the corner."  
  
    Corrin followed her gaze to see pretty red curtains obscuring where her vanity was. "Oh...you try them on before you buy them? They let you do that?" This time, Felicia was the one who giggled.  
  
    "That's right! It would be terrible to pay for a dress you thought would be beautiful and have it not fit properly when you get home."  
  
    That seemed perfectly reasonable to her. Jakob took the little pouch of coins back so that she could rifle through the racks a little more easily. After her initial trepidation, it was remarkably easy to throw herself into her task, admiring every new thing she found and relishing in the sensation of new fabrics against her fingertips.  
  
    "A- ah! This one!" She pulled out a deep wine red dress with just enough of a purple undertone that it wouldn't clash with her hair. It certainly looked flattering. Felicia was quick to draw it off the rack and guide her to the dressing room they'd made, and once they were both inside, she helped Corrin out of her clothes and into the dress.  
  
    Corrin was glad the vanity was inside with her. She admired the shape of the dress, from the little cap sleeves hugging her shoulders to the flare at the bottom hem. It was such a pretty thing with such an eye-catching color, but it was a little snug at the hips for her taste.  
  
    "Lady Corrin?"  
  
    She poked her head out from between the curtains to see Flora and Jakob waiting patiently. Corrin was quite amused to see them in matching poses with their hands tucked neatly behind her back. "Is everything alright, Flora?"  
  
    Flora nodded and smiled faintly. "May we see? I'd love to see how it looks on you."  
  
    "Oh!" Corrin slipped out from beneath the curtains feeling oddly bashful. She hadn't expect them to want her to show off for the two of them, but it stood to reason when they'd gone to the effort of acquiring the new dresses in the first place. "What do you think?" She was startled to feel Felicia stepping out after her, and the girl laughed.  
  
    "Do a spin!" she called, reaching for one of Corrin's hands as if they were already at the ball. Dissolving into laughter, Corrin let Felicia twirl her around, and she was delighted to feel the swish of silky skirts around her legs.  
  
    Flora's smile grew wider. "It's very lovely, my lady. Would you like to try on any more?"  
  
    Corrin did. She tried on the beautiful harlequin dress just to experience what it would be like to wear something so attention grabbing. It had an enormous collar she rather liked, even if it made her feel a bit silly, and thickly gathered sleeves around her shoulders. It was a bit too heavy for dancing, though, so Felicia helped her strip back out of it so that she could try on more.  
  
    The entire experience was wonderful. Corrin was sure she'd never felt such blinding happiness in her life. Each and every dress she put on made her feel beautiful, like she could be as desirable and elegant as Camilla. Every time she stepped back out to let Flora and Jakob see her, the approval they gave her made her heart swell. She had even convinced Felicia to try on some of the dresses that seemed to suit her, and Corrin was charmed to see how much fun she had wearing something other than her own uniform.  
  
    By the time she had tried on nearly half the 'store', Corrin felt utterly breathless. "I want to try on the jewelry!" she announced, and she made her way over to the tables her retainers had set up without pausing for a moment.  
  
    She had never worn rings before. She'd worn necklaces a few times when Camilla would bring her one, but her hands never seemed worthy of the pretty, delicate rings she sometimes brought. Corrin's hands were rough and her fingernails were often ragged when she got a little too enthusiastic about her sword practice, but the state of her nails was the last thing on her mind just then. She reached for a stunning silver ring with a long, sharp ruby that was cut into the shape of an eye in the center of it. She found it exquisite, and she slid it over her ring finger and admired as it sparkled in the sunlight.  
  
    The other pieces came in a veritable rainbow of colors, but she found herself repeatedly drawn to the ones with emeralds or rubies. Occasionally, a piece with an onyx would catch her eye.  
  
    "Ooh! Look, Jakob!" Obediently, Jakob did as Corrin picked up a long, beautifully crafted ring that covered the entire finger. "It's like your gauntlet!" She put it on eagerly, sliding it into place and spreading her fingers. It really did remind her of a more delicate version of Jakob's lethal gauntlets. The fingertip was drawn into a curved point, and the rest was made up of three pieces with equally sharp tips at each joint. Corrin was terribly smitten. "What do you think?"  
  
    As soon as she asked, it struck Corrin that while the ring was very fetching, it didn't lend itself well to dancing with a partner. She pulled her hand away from him and curled her fingers together to peer at the little tip. "Ah...nevermind. I'd probably stab anyone who tried to dance with me," she noted a little mournfully.  
  
    Jakob leaned over her shoulder. "It's not as sharp as you fear, my lady. It looks lovely."  
  
    A brief flicker of embarrassment shot through her at just how much his modest compliment made her heart race. She forced herself not to think of it and focused instead on the ring. She turned her left wrist over and poked lightly at her bare skin. Sure enough, the tip was actually quite blunt.  
  
    Excited once more, Corrin took the ring's companion and placed it on her other finger so they matched. "Haha! I love them so much!  I want to wear them all the time!"  
  
    "Try these, try these!" Corrin blinked and turned to face Felicia, who offered her two strange looking silver rings. "If you like those so much, these will look lovely too."  
  
    Corrin took them eagerly and looked over them. Like her little mini-gauntlets, they had long, pointed tips too, and they were also duller than they appeared. The rings themselves were awfully narrow, though, and she wasn't able to get them onto any of her fingers save her pinkies. They slid snugly over her first joint and covered her fingernail entirely. "Oh!!"  
  
    Felicia was right. Corrin _adored_ them. She turned to her containers and held her hands out to stare at them in joy. They made her feel like a dragon princess. The sharpness of each pretty ring made her look so dangerous, but also very refined. She was utterly in love.  
  
    "I have just the thing to match." Flora reached for a necklace spread out across the velvet, and she unclasped it and stepped behind Corrin to put it on for her. "There we are. Would you like to see yourself in the vanity?"  
  
    Corrin went immediately, wandering after Flora in a happy daze. She could not have dreamed up a more perfect day if she'd tried. Until the night ended without Jakob having professed his undying love to her, she would consider it flawless. If it did not, then she would claim that she could, indeed, dream up something better.  
  
    Such thoughts evaporated as she took herself in at her vanity with Flora's gentle oversight. The necklace was perfect. There were several ovals of silver studded with rubies and green gemstones that draped down to her collar. "This is so perfect," she breathed.  
  
    Flora laughed softly and nodded. "I'm pleased you think so. Now you only need to choose your dress. Have you found one you want?"  
  
    Corrin had forgotten that she'd never settled on one. She allowed Flora to lead her back out of the dressing room so she could find the perfect dress to go with her new jewelry. She liked the ones she had tried, but none of them felt just right. Corrin went to rifling through the racks once again, her brow set and her lips pursed into a concentrated frown.  
  
    Her retainers chose not to bother her as she hunted, but Corrin was oblivious. She didn't notice them until she spotted Jakob adjusting some of the dresses in the sections in which Corrin had gotten a little too enthusiastic. He was sliding a hanger back into place when Corrin saw the flutter of black fabric, and she paused immediately.  
  
    "Can I see that one, Jakob?"  
  
    Jakob hesitated and glanced back at her. "Of course, my lady." He pushed the other dresses away and pulled out a beautiful black dress that was so aggressively matte it reminded her of a night without stars. As Jakob laid it over his forearm to spare it from the floor, Corrin was shocked to see that it had a satin ribbon around the waist that was almost the exact same shade of teal as her hair.  
  
    That was the one. She knew it in her bones. "This is it! It's so gorgeous!" Her face and her ears flushed in her happiness, and she took the skirt into her hands to feel the material. It slid between her fingers like water, and she was abruptly reminded of Jakob's hair against her skin. She looked up at him then and opened her mouth, but for a moment, nothing came out. "Do you think this one would be okay?" she finally said.  
  
    Jakob's entire face went soft. "I think it was tailor made for you, Lady Corrin. I'll bring it to the dressing room for you." Sweetly, Jakob walked her to the back corner of the room and draped the dress over Corrin's arms. "There we are. I'll have Felicia come assist you at once."  
  
    Corrin did not have to wait long. She had barely undressed herself when Felicia let herself inside, and she helped Corrin step into the dress. "Oh! This one is my favorite, I'm so glad you decided to try it on!"  
  
    "It is?" Corrin turned away from her reflection to stare at Felicia in surprise.  
  
    "Yes! I- Actually, this is one I picked out," Felicia murmured, her voice laden with modesty. "The ribbon reminded me so much of your hair. I thought you'd like it."  
  
    Corrin felt like she'd never breathe again. Her retainers were so good to her. They had gone to such lengths just to make a pretend store for her, and they'd even bought new things in the hopes she'd like them instead of just displaying all the ones she already owned.  
  
    As Felicia eased the straps over her shoulders, something inside Corrin broke. "Felicia," she whispered. She watched in the mirror until Felicia lifted her jaw to meet Corrin's gaze in the reflection. "...I love shopping." She turned in the girl's arms and pulled her close, burying her face in Felicia's neck. "I can't believe you did all of this for me."  
  
    Corrin felt Felicia's breath melt along the tender shell of her ear as she giggled, and she returned Corrin's warm embrace. "Jakob told us what you said after what happened with Lord Xander. I- I hope you're not upset. We just wanted to do this for you when you were having such a hard time."  
  
    She was not at all surprised to hear that, but she still felt like her heart was being squeezed. When she finally pulled back, Corrin gripped Felicia's shoulders. "Thank you, Felicia. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."  
  
    Felicia beamed for her and reached down to hold Corrin's hands loosely. "You're welcome! It's been fun for us too."  
  
    Felicia helped her wiggle out of the dress once again so that she could put it back on its hanger, and Corrin changed into her simpler black day dress and comfortable tights. "What do I do now?"  
  
    Felicia took the dress up into her arms. "You have to buy it now," she reminded her, a touch of amusement quirking the corners of her lips.  
  
    "Right."  
  
    Together, they left the dressing room, and Felicia guided her to a counter top where Flora was waiting dutifully for her. Jakob was quick to hand Corrin her pouch back, and she opened it up and dropped the coins into her palm. "So...how much do I owe you?" It was strange to say, but it was kind of fun. Corrin liked the feeling of gold in her palms.  
  
    Felicia blinked and craned her neck over Corrin's shoulder. "How much do you have?"  
  
    "Uhm..." Corrin counted them all. "Twenty pieces."  
  
    "You owe twenty pieces, Lady Corrin," Flora said without missing a beat.  
  
    Corrin cupped both her hands and poured the coins as carefully into Flora's waiting palm as she could. With that, so ended her very first shopping excursion. She felt utterly exhilerated.  
  
    Before she could tell Jakob and Flora how much she had enjoyed it, Felicia began steering her towards her bedroom door. "We'll be downstairs!" she announced. "No peeking!"  
  
    "What?" Corrin twisted her neck and tried to get a look at her. "Why?"  
  
    "We have to do your makeup before the ball! We only have two hours!" Felicia opened the doors and waved the other two good bye before she slammed it shut and took Corrin's hand. Two hours seemed a little excessive, but Felicia would probably know better.  
  
    By the time her makeup was finished, Corrin no longer considered two hours to be 'excessive'. Poor Felicia had a very shaky hand, and Corrin's face had to be washed six times before her eyeliner was finally finished. "...I'm so sorry. I should have let Flora do this."  
  
    Corrin, chapped and red though her face was, only laughed for her. "It's okay. It's fine! Look, the wings are so beautiful." It may have taken a little trial and error, but the last attempt looked lovely. Hopefully the redness of her eyelids would die down before they went back to her room.  
  
    Lipstick proved a little easier. Felicia did her level best to be slow and careful, painting her lips a rich, pretty red. Corrin almost never wore makeup. She had nowhere to wear it, after all. Feeling the heaviness on her skin was odd, but Corrin found that she liked it a lot. She felt so glamorous, and the sensation of someone painting her face was as pleasant as having her hair played with.  
  
    After Felicia decided her makeup was finished, she had a much simpler time doing Corrin's hair. She made loose curls and bundled some of it up on top of Corrin's head, leaving a few pretty tendrils to bounce over her shoulder. The very last thing to do was to get dressed, and then she'd be ready for this mysterious ball.  
  
    It was such a sinfully lovely dress. Felicia tugged the straps over the sides of her shoulders a second time and smoothed out the skirt. Corrin had liked the sweetheart neckline of the very first dress, but this one made her feel so sensual. The bust angled out from between her breasts in straight lines up to the straps, framing the pretty necklace Flora had given to her beautifully. It tapered gently at her waist and curled around her hips, sliding down to the floor in a smooth curve and furling upwards. The hem reminded her of the petals of a calla lily, especially when paired with the slit that went all the way up to her thigh.  
  
    She'd never dare wear something so immodest with her family still in the fortress. But tonight, she would be surrounded only by her dear retainers, and she was feeling awfully daring.  
  
    Corrin took in her reflection and sighed deeply. "You did such an amazing job, Felicia." She looked wildly different in this sexual ensemble, and it thrilled Corrin to no end. She just hoped that she wasn't the only one who would be thrilled by it.  
  
    Deftly, Felicia tied the satiny teal ribbon around her hips. "Thank you, my lady! You look so beautiful."  
  
    Corrin blushed so hard the tips of her ears burned. She didn't blame Felicia for laughing at her.  
  
    "Why don't you go on ahead? I need to get ready, then I'll be right behind you."  
  
    Corrin hesitated. "Are you sure?" At Felicia's nod, she nodded back and made her way for the door. "Okay. Thank you again. I'll see you back in the room."  
  
    She took a slow breath to steady herself and made her way to her bedroom. The halls were so quiet it was almost eerie, but Corrin was glad for the opportunity to be alone with her thoughts before she arrived for the ball. She had no idea what would be waiting for her, but Corrin was very eager to find out.  
  
    She stepped up to her heavy wooden doors and tugged them open, her heart leaping into her throat.  
  
    It was even better than the store.


	7. Chapter 7

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    Corrin could not believe that her room had undergone such a transformation in only two hours. Every scrap of clothing that had been out on display was gone, all the racks of ice cleared away, and the tables were moved from the center of the room. The pink and white fabric along the walls had disappeared as well. She tilted her head back and gasped as she saw rich red slices of velvet draped along her ceiling and gathered at the center. She could never have come up with such an idea herself. It gave the entire room the feeling of being contained in a lavish tent rather than a dreary castle, and Corrin loved it.  
  
    Every bit of it was stunning. There were lit candelabras bathing the room in its only light now that the sun had sank beneath the horizon. The clouds had finally given way to the night, and her drapes were all spread open wide to show off the beautiful tapestry of stars. Her bedroom had never looked so...romantic.  
  
    "Welcome to the ball, Lady Corrin." Flora approached from her right side and bowed.  
  
    Corrin turned to look at her and gasped in excitement, both her hands coming up to cup her face. "Flora! Look at you!" It was so strange and wonderful to see her out of her usual maid uniform. She looked so lovely in a beautiful peach colored dress that fell to her knees in a rain of fluffy skirts. It reminded Corrin of the shape of a rose. A square neckline showed off the pretty curves of her decolletage, and the sleeves gathered gently at her elbows. Feeling giddy, Corrin drew her into a tight hug. "This place is so beautiful, and so are you!"  
  
    "O- Oh! Thank you, my lady." As they parted, Corrin was amused to see that Flora's cheeks had blossomed as pink as her dress, but her amusement soon melted into soft admiration. Flora was wearing subtle makeup, and her pretty blue hair fell around her shoulders in loose waves. Corrin had only ever seen her wear it up while she worked. She always looked lovely no matter what, but like this, Flora seemed oddly vulnerable and shy. Corrin could understand that. Flora had never been anything less than professional as long as Corrin had known her. Now she was, quite literally, letting her hair down, and Corrin was among the privileged few to see it.  
  
    Corrin offered her a warm smile and kissed her cheek. "You are very welcome. I hope you'll save me a dance!"  
  
    Flora's cheeks grew brighter until Corrin could no longer suppress the giggle building at the back of her throat. The poor girl only ducked her head and cleared her throat. "Are you hungry, Lady Corrin?"  
  
    Corrin hadn't been, but the reminder made her realize that it had been several hours since lunch. "Oh...I probably should eat, shouldn't I?" An abrupt gurgle from her stomach agreed with her, and Corrin frowned as Flora tittered and took her hand.  
  
    "Worry not. Dinner is ready."  
  
    "Already?" Flora guided her to the back of the room where the little tables had been moved, and Corrin immediately squeezed harder at Flora's tiny hand. All her favorite foods were spread out across the smooth wooden surfaces. There were plates of succulent meats covered in a fragrant sauce, rolls of cheese studded bread and bowls filled to the brim with berries coated in a sweet glaze. "I can't believe this! You had all of my favorites made!"  
  
    Once more, Corrin was overwhelmed by how much her retainers loved her. They had arranged every bit of this while she was entirely oblivious. The only thing saving her from an emotional outburst was Flora's fingertips pressing gently to her wrist.  
  
    "Really, my lady. We were happy to do this for you," Flora assured her. Corrin regarded her with bright red eyes and a wide smile, and she nodded for her.  
  
    Briefly, she looked around the room. "Were you here all by yourself?" Obviously she knew that Felicia was still getting ready, but it seemed a little too transparent to ask where Jakob was. To her credit, Flora didn't question it.  
  
    "Yes. Jakob went to fetch the tea. We weren't sure how long Felicia would be." Flora paused and sighed faintly. "I should probably check on her. Will you be alright if I leave you for a moment?"  
  
    Corrin smiled and squeezed Flora's shoulder. "Of course. I'll be fine." Flora took her leave then, slipping out the bedroom door and leaving Corrin to admire the room by herself. She also took the opportunity to breathe a moment. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin the night by crying, even if they were happy tears.  
  
    Slowly, she made her way around her bedroom. They must have borrowed candelabras from every room in the fortress. Corrin loved the warm glow of the candlelight, and she was delighted to see that they'd even moved her piano back into its proper place. Corrin was so entranced that she very nearly didn't hear the slide of the door. Only the sound of foot steps against stone alerted her that she had company, and she turned away from her piano to see Jakob in the doorway carrying a silver tray stacked with tea. "Oh!"  
  
    Corrin sucked in a sharp breath. Jakob looked incredible. He always looked incredible -- that waistcoat he always wore did things to her. But she'd never seen him without his armor before. He'd abandoned his usual sleeveless coat in favor of a stiff, flawlessly fitted tailcoat, and Corrin was infinitely pleased to see he still wore his lovely harlequin patterned waistcoat beneath it.  
  
    Jakob fell still before her. "Lady Corrin..." She held her breath. His eyes had actually widened as he looked at her, and she wanted to preen beneath his gaze and also blush furiously. Finally, Jakob smiled and leaned forward, holding the tray with poise even as he offered her his free hand. Corrin slid her hand into his grasp and squeezed the tips of his fingers. "You look stunning."  
  
    "Thank you. I think you do," she confessed. No doubt her ears were flaming red. She let go of him so that he could place the tray on one of the empty tables. "Jakob, this is..." The words died on her lips. She was at a loss of what to even call it that could do it all justice.  
  
    She missed her chance to try when the door opened a second time. Both she and Jakob turned their heads as Flora let herself back inside with one arm tucked around Felicia. Felicia looked just as enchanting as Flora. She wore a strapless powder blue dress, and her long, thick hair was bundled up on top of her head. Her skirt stopped at her knees as well, but unlike Flora's, it was angled in a pretty A-line that flared from her hips.  
  
    "I'm so sorry I took forever! I hope you didn't start the dance without me!"  
  
    Corrin giggled at her. "I would never! As a matter of fact, you're right on time."  
  
    With everyone gathered together, Corrin's stomach was no longer in the mood to be patient. She wasted no time piling her plate high with food and finding a comfortable chair so she could eat. The beef proved to be tender and juicy, and the bread was baked to perfection. She was in heaven, especially when Felicia plopped down beside her and offered her some of the dark berries that were slick with syrup. She even had some of the sweet wine they'd set out. She and Flora poured each other a glass and toasted their excitement for the evening before they sipped at the same time.  
  
    The entire meal was delicious, but Corrin wasn't spared much time to let it settle. She had barely finished setting her empty plate on the table when Felicia thrust her arms out to her, her lips pulled into an eager smile. "Come dance with me, Lady Corrin!"  
  
    Corrin followed her out into the center of the room with a laugh. "I would be remiss not to, Felicia." Smoothly, Corrin took the lead, sweeping Felicia's soft hand into her own and winding her arm around the girl's waist. They had no music to accompany them, but they hardly needed it. They fell into an easy rhythm, Felicia following Corrin's bare feet as they spun in wide circles.  
  
    "I didn't know you knew how to formal dance!" Corrin was thrilled that Felicia had no trouble at all. She spun the girl happily, admiring the flicker of pink hair and blue skirts beneath the candle light. She stopped long enough to dip Felicia low, and she pulled her right back up.  
  
    "We learned! We practiced together at night. Flora is better at it," Felicia noted bashfully.  
  
    "Don't sell yourself so short. You're a lovely partner, Felicia." Corrin grinned for the girl and moved into a different dance, and to her elation, Jakob joined her with Flora on his arm. As Felicia had promised, Flora was beautifully fluid. Her cheeks were flushed, but her smile was soft, and she followed Jakob's lead with grace.  
  
    Abruptly, Corrin pulled herself and Felicia in between the two of them and took Flora's pale hands into her own. She spun Flora into her arms with an impish smile until the girl's back was to her, and she tucked Flora's hips against her own. Gently, her fingers spread against Flora's belly, and Corrin's other hand moved to grip at her own. "I hope you don't mind if I cut in!"  
  
    Seeing Flora so flustered was thrilling. She was smiling a little more broadly as Corrin led her in yet another dance, the rhythm faster and their hips swaying with every motion. Before Flora was ready, Corrin took her hands and twirled her around, her skirts swishing around her thighs and her blue curls fanning out behind her. Once she was facing her, Corrin reached for her knee on impulse, tucking Flora's leg around her hips and spinning in a dizzying circle.  
  
    "A- ah! What dance is this?!" Flora clutched at her shoulders as Corrin spun faster and faster, and she burst into laughter.  
  
    "I don't know! I'm just making it up as I go!"  
  
    Corrin slowed to a still and set her back down on the ground, and Flora collapsed into her chest with giggles. She had never heard Flora laugh like that in her life, and she was eager to hear it again. Her face was flushed and her smile was no longer muted and gentle. Rather, she was grinning broadly as she caught her breath, and she tossed her bangs from her face. "My! Who knew you were so multi-talented, my lady?"  
  
    In no time at all, Corrin lost track entirely of how long they danced. She danced with Jakob while Flora and Felicia danced with each other, and at one point, she was twirling both Flora and Felicia at the same time. She didn't have a chance to catch her breath until Felicia draped her arms around Corrin's shoulders. "You should play us a song, Lady Corrin!"  
  
    "Oh! I should!" She'd almost forgotten her piano was there. Corrin sat herself on the little bench and let her fingertips graze the tops of the keys. She had always loved the feeling of each bar beneath her fingers. It had been awhile since she'd sat down and played. The sheet music already on the rack was perfect for just such an occasion. While she played, Jakob danced with the twins on either arm, swinging them back and forth and twirling them just as Corrin had.  
  
    She was sure her heart was going to burst before the night was over. Pure, unbridled joy seized her. She could not remember a time she was ever happier than she was in that moment. Seeing her retainers openly happy, hearing them laugh and watching them together made her insides tremble.  
  
    They danced nearly the entire night away. It was close to midnight when she and Jakob retreated to a sofa so she could take a break and have a little bit more wine. Poor Flora looked so tuckered out she was very nearly asleep against Felicia's bony shoulder. Corrin's face was soft as she watched them. "Are you ready to turn in?"  
  
    "I think so." Felicia offered her a dozy smile and tucked her arm around Flora's back. "Come on, Flora. Let's get you to bed."  
  
    Corrin got up to help her. Together, they took Flora to the bedroom she shared with Felicia. Before she left them, however, Corrin embraced them both in the quiet darkness of the room. "...Thank you for everything. Sleep well, you two."  
  
    "Of course. Good night, Lady Corrin." Felicia walked her to the door, and Corrin took her leave.  
  
    As exhausted as she was, her heart sank inside of her. The night was almost over, and she wasn't ready for it. It had been such an amazing day. She wasn't ready to wake up in the morning and know that it would already be a memory.  
  
    Corrin gathered her skirt around her thighs and crept back into her room, letting the door slip shut behind her. She was surprised to find that Jakob was still there, already moving to tidy the dishes they'd left behind. Corrin frowned gently. "Jakob, you don't have to do that."  
  
    He glanced up at her from over his shoulder and chuckled quietly. "You know better than anyone it would drive me to madness if I left it."  
  
    She giggled at him then and dropped her skirt, smoothing it a little self-consciously over her thighs. "I suppose that's true."  
  
    He turned to face her entirely and set the empty tea tray back on the table. "Are you alright, my lady?" Corrin peered back at him, but she was at a loss what to say. Complaining about the night coming to an end would sound ungrateful when she was anything but. This had been the best surprise of her life.  
  
    After a beat, Corrin nodded her head and smiled for Jakob's benefit. "I'm alright. I'm just not ready for it to be over. This has been so amazing."  
  
    "Ah." Jakob nodded his understanding. "It does me well to hear that you had a lovely evening. That's all we wanted for you."  
  
    They both went silent this time, and Corrin had no idea what to say. She didn't want Jakob to leave, but she didn't want to force him to stay. She stared at his face in the warm candlelight and bit her lip. "I know it's late. I'm sure you're tired. I'm tired too. But...would you mind having one last dance with me?"  
  
    Surprise flickered over his face. "I- Of course, my lady."  
  
    Her heart leaped into her throat as Jakob moved closer. She eased her hand across Jakob's outstretched palm and reached for his shoulder, and she felt her stomach twist as his other hand settled over her waist.  
  
    This was probably a bad idea, but Corrin couldn't bring herself to care. This was the only thing that could properly cap off such a flawless night. She tilted her head back to meet his gaze, and her breath hitched inside her. His eyes were so dark in the low light, and the orange outline of his face in the light of the candles made her weak in the knees.  
  
    Slowly, Jakob guided her backwards. She followed his feet step by step, her skirt gliding against her skin like liquid. "Jakob... Thank you. For this. For all of it." He looked surprised again, but his lips curved into a genuine smile.  
  
    "It was my pleasure, Lady Corrin. Truly. We all know this last visit was particularly troublesome for you." He paused, then, and his eyebrows furrowed a little sadly. "I know how much you hate it here. I consider it part of my duty to make it as bearable for you as possible until the day you can walk out the door."  
  
    Corrin fell still, very nearly causing Jakob to trip as he tried to move into the next step. "I don't hate it here." She hadn't realized that's what he thought. It was surprisingly distressing to hear, and Corrin squeezed at his hand tightly. "I know I said I'm sick of being here, but I would _never_ hate it. For better or worse, this is my home, and I have you three here. I could never hate anywhere that had you."  
  
    She probably shouldn't have admitted that, but she couldn't abide the thought of him not understanding how much she loved having her retainers. They could make the bleakest place hospitable and, indeed, had done exactly that.  
  
    Jakob swallowed and dipped his head low. Her fingers tightened around his shoulder, and she offered him another adoring smile. "Then...please forgive my misunderstanding, my lady."  
  
    Corrin laughed wetly and looked away from him. He was so quick to apologize. He was so quick to do anything he thought would benefit her at all. Her gaze swept along the ceiling to admire the tent of red velvet once again, and she felt her chest constrict.  
  
    She had decided that Jakob was a gardener. But what if he hadn't been? She remembered the first day he'd arrived at the castle. She remembered a rude little boy who was angry and resentful and so afraid. Abandoned. He'd been given to Corrin against his will. What if he'd been a flower who was forced to take care of someone else? What if he was only a gardener because he'd never been given the choice to be anything else?  
  
    Could she have done the same in his position? Could she have learned to take care of someone else at her own expense? Could she have been the type of person who could hear the pain behind a throwaway sentence in a confession of loneliness and create an elaborate fantasy like this?  
  
    Could she have given someone as memorable a night as Jakob had given her?  
  
    She could feel the heat stinging at the backs of her eyes. She felt suddenly helpless in the face of this ridiculous task she'd given herself, to change her very nature when no one had asked her to. She didn't know if she could ever be a gardener.  
  
    The tears began to roll down her face as she dropped her chin and stared up at Jakob. As her gaze bore into his eyes, she realized then that even if she could never hope to be one...she would happily spend the rest of her life trying to learn to tend to one.  
  
    Another wet laugh left her as Jakob's face twisted in anguish in the face of her tears. "I love you," she said, her tears dripping down her chin. Jakob stared back at her in shock, his fingers tight against her hand and digging slightly into her hip. Corrin squeezed her eyes shut and said it again, just to make it real. "...I'm in love with you, Jakob."  
  
    His silence ate away at her insides. The longer it stretched, the smaller and smaller she felt until she could no longer contain a sob. She didn't have the heart to look at him again until she felt warm lips just beneath her eye, and she took in a startled breath. Jakob kissed her tears away, his hand coming up from her hip to brush them from her other cheek with the pad of his thumb.  
  
    Corrin's hand shook as she moved to grip the inside of his elbow. He kissed her again, lower, and lower still until his lips pressed to the corner of her mouth. Corrin tilted her head and kissed him slowly.  
  
    She felt her heart would never beat normally again. She could feel it pulsing in her throat as Jakob's hand cradled her jaw. It was better than she had ever imagined. His other hand slid into her hair, his fingers twining through the loose curls falling along the back of her neck. She wanted to memorize every skipped beat of her heart, every brush of his skin against her, every trembling touch of his mouth on her own.  
  
    When they finally broke apart, Jakob's forehead came to rest against her own. Corrin clutched at him tightly as if she feared he would disappear right out of her arms. Corrin swallowed and looked down with her hands still gripping at his elbows. "Please don't leave," she whispered.  
  
    The way his thumb brushed against her wet eyelashes made Corrin want to die. "I'll stay as long as you require," he promised her.  
  
    "Until morning?" Corrin sniffed and lifted her chin once more to look at him. He was so, so beautiful.  
  
    Jakob nodded slowly. "Until morning."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had originally intended for this to be the last chapter, but, like the rest of this project, it got a bit away from me! I've decided to post one more after this one before this fic comes to a close.
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience! All your kind comments mean the world to me!

* * *

 

 

    For a moment, things felt normal between them. Jakob stood before her, his fingers gentle as they probed through her hair. With great care, he slid another bobby pin free and placed it on the stand beside her bed. They had quite a respectable pile by now. Corrin glanced down at them and tightened her fingers along the crook of Jakob's knee. He had propped his leg up onto the bed beside her to get comfortable, and the way it rested against her thigh pleased her more than she cared to admit.  
  
    "Felicia was pretty determined that my hair not fall out," she noted with a tiny smile. Above her, Jakob indulged in a smooth chuckle that made her stomach quake.  
  
    "Indeed. No matter how thorough I am, I suspect you'll find at least one more in your hair in the morning."  
  
    Corrin laughed for him and rolled her thumb over the top of his knee. It was still so novel to have the freedom to touch him, even if he barely gave it notice. He took out another pin and slid his fingers through her curls as if to rattle more of them loose. She was positive that she could die happy as a clam if she did it with his nimble fingers buried in her hair. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned so far towards him her forehead brushed against his stomach. She felt his fingers curl along the base of her skull and fall still.  
  
    The room felt hazy around her. Truth be told, Corrin was still reeling from her emotional confession. She had told him she loved him like it was the easiest thing in the world.  
  
    And he'd kissed her.  
  
    Corrin blinked, snapping back to awareness as his fingertips began to shift along her scalp. When she leaned back to look up at him again, Jakob reached down to take her hands and slide the rings from her fingers. One by one, he eased them off and settled each one beside the bobby pins with a soft click of metal on wood. Her necklace came off next. Jakob coaxed her head forward so he could drape her hair over his forearm and unclasp it, and he set it down with the rest of her jewelry.  
  
    With every piece he removed, her heart seemed to beat faster and faster. Though he'd done this sort of thing for her before, this was the most intimate it had ever been. It was just jewelry, but the heaviness in his touch made her feel more like he was undressing her than he was helping her get ready for bed. Which, she supposed, was what she wanted. She had asked him to stay until morning, but she didn't even know if he had truly understood her intentions. He hadn't acknowledged them, nor had he actually responded to her confession.  
  
    Her bravery collapsed beneath her in the face of that harsh reminder, and Corrin bit down hard on her lip. There weren't a lot of positives one could take from such a lack of response. A sudden terror gripped her by the chest, and she struggled to breathe. What if he had only kissed her because he feared rejecting her? "Jakob," she blurted, feeling sick to her stomach. "You don't have to do this."  
  
    Jakob looked startled until an onset of guilt settled heavily over his face. His palm slid to cup the side of her neck as he bent down to kiss her. "Please forgive me. I confess I was not entirely certain that this was truly happening."  
  
    Bit by bit, her fear dissolved inside her. She felt a little bit like that too, and Corrin managed a thin laugh. Her heart was still racing inside her like a frightened bird. The thought that he might not love her back was too much to bear. "I understand. I'm not convinced I really said it either. But if you heard it too, it must be true."  
  
    Jakob was quiet for a time, his fingers stroking rhythmically at the side of her throat and up beneath the lobe of her ear. Finally, he rested his forehead against her own and tucked a stray curl of hair over her shoulder. "...Will you tell me again?" he requested. His voice sounded so strange. It was low and so quiet she could only barely hear him, and it was laced with something she'd never heard in his voice before. He sounded almost...ashamed.  
  
    Corrin gripped tightly at his back. "I love you."  
  
    She watched him close his eyes and held him harder, her hands sinking down to the small of his back. This man who had given her so much had probably never been told that he was loved. With a pang of regret, she wished deeply that she had told him sooner.  
  
    She knew what others said. No one dared tell her to her face, but she'd been privy to their gossip when they thought she could not hear. They thought Jakob callous and cold. They thought he was rude and prickly and unlovable. Really, it wasn't their fault. To them, he was all those things. They couldn't appreciate how fully and how sincerely he loved when he chose to. They didn't see the man who created stores and ball rooms, who danced so beautifully and held her so tenderly. They didn't understand that he was callous and cold because to be anything else was to be vulnerable.  
  
    They didn't see that he had devoted himself to her so completely because he trusted Corrin alone not to hurt him as he had been hurt so badly before.  
  
    "Just once more," he whispered. He may as well have reached into her ribcage and squeezed her heart directly.  
  
    "I love you, Jakob," she swore to him, tilting her head back and refusing to look away. She would tell him no matter how many times he needed to hear it. She loved him so much she ached, and she would tell the world in a full-throated shout if he required that of her. He deserved to be loved with the same dedication he embodied. Corrin wanted to believe that she did.  
   
    In a burst of motion, Jakob reached up to grasp her face and kiss her deeply. He shook almost as badly as she had during their first one, his fingers wracked with tremors and his lips trembling against her own. Corrin's heart broke for him. "I love you _desperately_ , Corrin," he murmured to her.  
  
    She had never been so elated at the same time she was so nauseated. She laughed, breathless and afraid and hungry to explore everything this new facet of their relationship had to offer. She kissed him again and again, clutching at the back of his neck and reveling in the feeling of being encased in his arms. _Corrin_. Her name on his tongue made her shiver.  
  
    Corrin broke away with her face red and her lips flushed. "Will you undress me?"  
  
    She heard him inhale in a way that both thrilled and scared her. "Are you certain?" he asked, his hands falling to frame her hips. Corrin nodded mutely and tucked her chin to her chest. She watched him take the pretty ribbon into his hands and relished in the sound of fabric gliding along his skin. He untied it slowly and tugged it away from her hips.  
  
    She wanted to be amused that Jakob's need for tidiness was so ingrained that he actually folded it into a neat square and put it on the nightstand before he came back to her, but she was far too nervous. With the same tenderness he always carried, Jakob slid his fingers beneath the straps of her dress and peeled them down her arms.  
  
    The air felt caught in her lungs. He eased the gown over her hips and held her as she stepped out of it. She had never been self-conscious before, and she was hardly afraid that Jakob would appraise her body like stock. But in that instance, she was hyper aware of herself. Her bust was much more modest than Camilla's, and there wasn't a particularly dramatic distinction between her waist and her hips. She didn't feel like the sexual dynamo she had been all dressed up.  
  
    Corrin jumped as Jakob's fingertips slid along the subtle curve of her waist, and he kissed her softly. "You are exquisite." It figured that he would not allow her to stay anxious for long. Whether she felt as much or not, Jakob found her worth admiring, and it made her heart soar.  
  
    Corrin laughed at herself, her ears hot and her shoulders near feverish from her blushing. But it was much easier to relax when Jakob held her like that, his lips brushing against her eyebrow and his hands resting along her sides. "...You can take the rest off," she said. Jakob hesitated, but he complied. He knelt down before her and pressed his thumbs beneath the hem of her panties. He didn't draw it out. Smoothly, he tugged them down her legs and helped her step out of them one leg at a time with a patient hand supporting her weight.  
  
    Gods, she was naked in front of him. Her pulse was racing so hard she could feel it throbbing in her stomach. She was just grateful he didn't stare, and he climbed back up to his feet and kissed her chin.  
  
    She let him, closing her eyes and doing her level best to unwind. Still, it was hard not to shake, and she pressed her palms to his chest to steady her arms. "Can I do the same for you?"  
  
    "Certainly, Corrin."  
  
    Another shudder zipped down her spine. She could listen to him call her that for ages.  
  
    Undressing Jakob proved to be more of a process than it had been for her. She sat him down on the edge of the bed and peeled his coat off first. Layer by layer she undressed him until his clothes were spread on top of her dress in a pile of expensive fabric. Corrin kind of liked seeing them in such a disheveled state. It made for a deliciously debauched picture, like she had always imagined the scenes from her romance novels to be. And to think, they hadn't even done anything yet.  
  
    She lifted her head again and admired Jakob openly. His body was so lovely. As soon as his pants were added to the pile, Corrin let her fingertips rest along the bones of his calves, and she pushed her hands up to trace the lines of them. Every single thing about him appealed to her. She reached his knees and pushed up further, grazing her palms along his thighs and coming to rest at the hem of all that concealed him. Her mouth felt dry with anticipation. Jakob lifted his hips so she could finish undressing him, and she jerked her head up on instinct.  
  
    He had done her the courtesy of not staring, which had seemed like a simple task. Corrin was surprised to find that it really wasn't. It was amazingly difficult to tear her eyes away; she glanced downwards several times even as she tried to meet Jakob's eyes. He laughed at her and coaxed her up to kiss her eyelid. "It's rude to stare, my lady."  
  
    "I know. I'm sorry." She let him pull her onto his lap, which prevented any further staring quite effectively. Corrin hardly minded, though. The silky glide of skin on skin left her breathless. She wasn't sure why she had expected any differently, but Jakob's skin was shockingly soft. She took her time feeling him out, trailing her fingertips along his collarbone and his shoulder.  
  
    For his part, Jakob was content to let her. He caressed her back with long strokes and put his lips to her ear. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep?" he finally asked her. Corrin nodded.  
  
    The dancing had worn her out, but by now, she was wide awake and eager for more. "I don't want to stop. I want you so much it hurts, Jakob." The sentiment might have embarrassed her, but after blurting out her feelings for him, it grew easier to tell him everything else she'd kept locked away. Fortunately, Jakob took it in stride. A sultry smile seized him, and he tilted Corrin's head toward him to drag his lips against her own.  
  
    "Then who would I be to deny you, my lady?" He pulled away from her and swept the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. He was so much braver than her. Corrin felt done in by him, and she was pliant as Jakob laid her out along the sheets and slipped between her thighs.  
  
    It was everything she had ever wanted, and better than every sordid day dream she'd entertained in the safety of her bed. He kissed beneath her sensitive ears and her neck, grazed against the slope of her collar and down further to her sternum. He was so warm, and his mouth felt maddeningly good against every part of her he chose to grace with it.  
  
    Despite her nerves, Corrin was wildly turned on. Every touch only seemed to intensify the feeling, from the way his hands cradled her ribs to the feeling of his lips mapping out the gentle curve of her breasts. She gasped the second his mouth closed over her nipple, her legs clamping around his hips and her fingernails biting delicate half-moons into his back.  
  
    "Nnh, Jakob..." Her head tilted back into the pillow, spilling her mess of curls along the silk. He did it again and coaxed another soft moan from her as his fingertips caressed the nexus between her ribs and her breasts. She didn't know if the sensations themselves were truly so heady or if it was simply how unbelievably electrifying it was to experience the exact thing she'd fantasized about. Whichever it was, Corrin couldn't bring herself to care. She was in _love_.  
  
    Her adoration only grew the lower he sank, punctuating each shift downward with a kiss. When he reached her belly, Corrin felt as if her nerves were on fire. Was he really going to offer her such a thing? Her eyes opened wide and overwhelmed as Jakob lifted his head, his hands settling against her thighs. She'd never seen anything so soul-scorching as the look on his face and his fingernails digging lightly into her sensitive skin.  
  
    "May I?" he asked her, and he lifted himself high enough to kiss the inside of her knee.  
  
    Surely, she was going to come down with the vapors. Dizzy with lust, she nodded once. "Y- Yes."  
  
    Corrin swallowed as she watched him drop down between her legs. She tried to hold still, but she jumped as his pale hair pooled against her. It tickled at her hips and sent pleasure straight up her back, leaving her to grasp helplessly at the sheets. In all her wildest fantasies, she hadn't fathomed that his hair would tickle her so, or feel so good brushing against the insides of her thighs.  
  
    Though there was so much stimulus warring for her attention, Corrin was tense as she waited to feel his mouth. She'd never been able to properly fantasize about what it might be like when she only had her hands at her disposal, but she'd always imagined it must be phenomenal. Her entire body was taut. The air tasted stagnant inside her as she waited, aching and wanting and dying of curiosity.  
  
    It rushed out of her in a hard gasp as Jakob's lips seared against her clit. Corrin threw her head back and cried out. Her back pulled into a tight arch, her hips digging into the bed and her thighs straining.  
  
    It was little wonder she had such a hard time trying to imagine it. The feeling was unlike anything else she had ever experienced. Her breath came more and more shallowly with every minute Jakob spent spoiling her, parting his lips and coursing his tongue over her labia. She felt as if her nerves would fray inside of her. The wet heat of his tongue, the texture, the sight of him between her thighs... She felt like she was going to come undone already.  
  
    Jakob did not stop, though. He was ridiculously thorough in his attention, his fingertips skating along the rounded edges of her hip bones and the insides of her thighs. He kissed her so sweetly that her whole body shook. The longer he remained, the wider and wider she spread her legs in a silent plea for more. They trembled hard beneath his hands, and her hips jumped every time he discovered something she particularly enjoyed.  
  
    Corrin regretted not taking his hair down. She wanted so badly to grasp at it and wrap the silky strands around her fingers. Instead it continued to tease at her with every motion, tickling her even as Jakob plied her with so much pleasure she couldn't catch her breath. "Jakob," she gasped again, and she groped for him desperately.  
  
    He glanced up at her without moving and lifted his hand to tangle their fingers together. She clutched at him hard, as if he were were the only thing in the world anchoring her to her bed. Her hips rolled up into him, ecstasy swirling in her belly and sweat pearling up along her flushed skin.  
  
    A sharp moan burst out of her as Jakob took her clit between his lips and sucked lightly. Her orgasm burst through her before she was ready for it, her body jerking hard and her fingers biting white strips into the back of his hand.  
  
    Jakob pulled away immediately and hovered hover her, cupping her face in one hand and brushing her damp hair from her face. She was sure there were stars in her eyes when she looked at him. What on earth did one say after having one's world rocked so thoroughly? Corrin wasn't sure. Rather than try, she threw her arms around Jakob's neck and pulled him down for a kiss.  
  
    She was almost nervous that Jakob would find it unsanitary, though she had no real reason to think so. He clearly didn't mind. He settled heavily over her body and returned her kiss with warm enthusiasm. It made her want to melt in his arms, especially when he moved to peel a stray lock of hair from her forehead and smooth it back.  
  
    As they parted, Corrin sighed. "Gods, Jakob!" She could feel him laugh against the side of her neck, and she shivered happily beneath him. "I- I'm so tired now."  
  
    Jakob planted a sympathetic kiss between her eyes. "I don't doubt it." He slipped out from between her legs and shifted to lie beside her instead. Though she could still enjoy his body heat, she felt bizarrely bereaved without his weight between her legs.  
  
    "But-"  
  
    He peered back at her and cocked his head. "Did you want to sleep?"  
  
    Corrin had no idea how she could be expected to sleep after he'd just given her such an indescribable seeing to. The flood gates had been opened, so to speak, and Corrin was dying for more. She shook her head and then glanced down, her cheeks turning a luminescent red. "What about you?"  
  
    Eugh, she hated how hard it was to bring herself to say it. She distinctly remembered the disapproving tone Camilla had used when she'd commented once that girls who couldn't even say 'penis' without giggling ought not be having sex. She shook the memory away and tried to face him without blushing. "If you're ready to sleep, that's okay. But if you're not, then...I'd like to try more."  
  
    The smile he gave her turned her insides to water. Jakob reached for her arm and brought it to his face. His cheek was so hot against the back of her hand. Gently, he turned it over and dragged his lips along the inside of her wrist. "I do live to serve." Corrin laughed helplessly. "I seem to recall that I promised I'd stay til morning. Do with me as you will, my lady."  
  
    The moment her hand was surrendered back to her, Corrin rolled on top of him and kissed him soundly. As far as she was concerned, they had a lot to get done before sunrise.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

 

 

    Jakob's skin was so silky as to be maddening. She could feel him all down the length of her back, and it intoxicated her to no end. He was never anything less than put together. His hair was neat and smooth, his clothing perfectly pressed, and his nails manicured and beautiful. Everything about him was soft save his fingertips; they were work-worn and rough with callouses, and currently, they were driving Corrin out of her mind with ecstasy.  
  
    Her hips rolled in time with the motions of his fingers as he stroked her clit. It was so gratifying to finally know that his hands were as clever as she'd always imagined them to be. She never wanted it to end, and she jerked harder and faster until she was sure she'd orgasm any moment. Naturally, that was when he chose to stop. Corrin found herself disoriented as he pulled his hand away, earning himself a plaintive, high-pitched gasp for his trouble.  
  
    Jakob softened the parting with a kiss to the shell of her ear. Gently, he reached down to curl his hand around the back of her knee, and he coaxed her leg up and tucked her thigh against his side. The gesture surprised her a great deal. She felt a bit like a flower being unfurled only to find itself in the middle of winter. The air was so cold between her legs that she was immediately wracked with shivers, though whether it was physical discomfort or emotional was admittedly unclear. Corrin had never dared to masturbate anywhere but beneath the cocoon of her blankets. Feeling air against her like that made her feel awfully exposed until his palm slid down her belly and followed the curve of her vulva.  
  
    With her legs opened so wide, it offered him much more room to move. Jakob went right back to stroking her skin, and a wet sigh plumed from her throat. Corrin was mesmerized by how quickly he had learned to touch her just like she touched herself. It was obvious how closely he listened to the sounds she made with each experimental flicker of his fingers, how he paused to make note of the angle they were crooked every time she took a shuddering breath. Being the center of so much focused attention was impossibly heady.  
  
    "Jakob," she gasped.  
  
    His hand fell still against her, and she felt the tip of his nose drag along the back of her ear. He waited patiently for her to say what was on her mind, but in the expectant silence, Corrin's insides twisted in discomfort. She didn't know how to ask for what she wanted when everything felt so crass on the tip of her tongue.  
  
    "I- I want to feel you," she managed after a time, her face and her neck bright red and already dappled with pearls of sweat. "Inside of me." Gods, Camilla would be so disapproving if she were there to hear her. Actually, she'd probably take more exception to the fact that Corrin was having sex with her butler at all rather than the way she chose to verbalize her desires. Blushing all the harder, Corrin tried to banish the thought of her older sister bearing witness to this and tilted her head as best she could.  
  
    Jakob's lips caressed the side of her neck. It was the only form of acknowledgment she received before his hand began to move again, thoroughly distracting her from her shame. Even as her heart stuttered in excitement, her thighs tensed anxiously. Corrin had no idea what to do with so many conflicting emotions. She was terribly eager to experience everything he could give her, but she was also afraid. Would it hurt? She had always been told that it would.  
  
    Fortunately for her, Jakob was not privy to her apprehensive swirl of thoughts. Corrin's hips jumped in surprise as his hand shifted, and one of his fingers slid deep inside her.  
  
    Corrin's head pushed back hard. Gods, it was so lovely. Her body had barely resisted at all. It rocked gently inside her, letting her grow accustomed to the strange sensation of being penetrated. She could feel herself trembling around him, but the longer his hand remained in place, the more her body calmed.  
  
    She reached down and squeezed at his forearm. As if he could read her mind, Jakob eased the digit out of her only to plunge it right back in. Some small, more lucid part of her wondered why she hadn't been doing this to herself sooner. The subtle pressure made her want to swoon.  
  
    "More," she begged. Jakob complied eagerly. She felt utterly bewitched by his beautiful hands as he conducted a veritable symphony of moans out of her with every tiny gesture, from the quirks of his fingertips to his thumb slipping down to skate along her clit. Her breath shook as much as her legs did, and her heart throbbed hard where Jakob kissed and sucked at the side of her throat.  
  
    Just as she had wanted, Jakob stoked her arousal with the care of an artist. She'd never been so turned on in her life. She had mourned the rapid denouement of her pleasure the instant Jakob had stopped touching her, but already it came roaring back to a crescendo as if he'd never stopped at all.  
  
    Her orgasm danced at the tip of Jakob's fingers. She was so close, gods, right at the precipice, and she was stunned to feel the viscous proof of her lust dripping down between her legs. She couldn't remember a time she'd ever made herself quite so wet.  
  
    Still, Corrin craved more. Satisfaction eluded her only barely, edging ever closer with each brush of Jakob's calloused fingers inside her and flitting away as they slid back out. It wasn't enough. She ached for the sensation of being filled. She wanted to come with Jakob's cock thrust inside of her and satiating the yawning void she couldn't on her own.  
  
    Corrin made a needy bid for air and gripped at Jakob's bicep. "Take me," she breathed.  
  
    Jakob's fingers disappeared from inside of her. In a moment he was on top of her, covering her body, shielding her from the biting air of her bedroom like her own personal sun. His hand caressed at her leg, holding it to his hip while the other sank into her hair. Corrin grasped at the naked expanse of his back and held him tightly. Her legs folded around his waist like petals as she blossomed beneath his touch. She wanted to give him everything, even if it hurt.  
  
    None of her fantasies could have prepared her for what it would be like. Whether she was reading her romance novels or indulging herself in her bed, Corrin had always imagined a vague sort of pleasure when she thought about what it must be like to be penetrated. The reality chased it all away and stole the breath from her lungs in one fell swoop.  
  
    A reedy gasp slid between her lips as she clutched at Jakob's shoulders and buried her face in his neck. It ached, and it was warm, and there was so much pressure filling her to the brim. It was not at all vague, and it solidified the entire experience. It was blissfully real, the detail sharp in the physical discomfort and the emotional thrill and the mental satisfaction that Jakob was fucking her.  
  
    The moment he began to move, Corrin's thoughts scattered like the butterflies in her stomach. All she could focus on was him. His hips rocked into her and pinned her to the bed, his damp hair dripped over her fingers where she clutched at his back. She could feel every shift of his shoulder blades when he thrust with his entire body, churning up ecstasy and making her blood sing.  
  
    She wanted to call his name. She wanted to feel the syllables in her mouth and on her tongue, but he kissed her instead. His work-rough palm cupped her face and pushed her hair from it, and since she couldn't taste his name, she tasted him instead.  
  
    Her insides felt like water. Pleasure flooded through her, burning at the small of her back and the base of her skull. Her heart pounded so hard she could feel her clit pulse in time with the beat. It was bizarre and wonderful and addictive and she wanted to do it again and again and again.  
  
    It was simply too much. Corrin tore away from him and threw her head back with a ragged cry. Her orgasm thundered through her so hard her feet curled until they hurt. She fell back onto her sheets in a dizzy heap, panting hard and clinging to Jakob like life support.  
  
    Jakob brought her back to awareness with a warm, insistent kiss to her lips. Her eyes fluttered open,  and Corrin swallowed before she brushed his damp hair back from his forehead. He was beautifully flushed and breathing almost as hard as she was. Corrin's heart fluttered. She'd never seen him look so undone before. It was lovely.  
  
    She swallowed again against the dryness in her throat. "Gods," she said. Jakob laughed and pressed his lips to her forehead.  
  
    He lifted himself from on top of her and climbed off the bed. Corrin wanted to protest, but she was so tired she could barely move her legs. Fortunately, he was quick to return with a warm, wet cloth, and he dragged it sweetly along the insides of her thighs and between her legs. She looked down and was surprised to see her belly was wet before Jakob wiped it away. She'd been so focused on her own pleasure she hadn't noticed that he'd orgasmed as well. It made her feel better.  
  
    "You don't have to do that." He looked amused and lifted his eyes to meet her own.  
  
    "I doubt your future self would appreciate such a sentiment in the morning. I hardly mind." He took it back to her washroom before he finally made his way back to bed and slid under the covers beside her. She rolled over immediately and curled up against his chest.  
  
    She hadn't really paid much thought to her virginity before. She'd been ambivalent towards it, but having happily given it up, Corrin found herself strangely thrilled. She couldn't fathom another person treating it half so well as Jakob had.  
  
    By now, Corrin was exhausted, but she knew her buzzing thoughts would be keeping her up for another hour or two. So much had changed in only the course of the evening. While she ruminated to herself, she took the time to stroke Jakob's shoulder and his neck. She traced his face like he'd done for her so many times. Her thumb glided along the side of his nose, along his cheekbone, beneath his eye. She'd always liked his nose. The bridge of it was straight and narrow, but the tip came up so sharply it was cute.  
  
    Eventually, Corrin met his gaze, and he regarded her levelly. "Are you alright?"  
  
    She nodded for him and let her hand fall still. "I'm fine. Am I bothering you?"  
  
    "Not at all." As if to prove as much, Jakob brought her wrist to his lips and kissed the inside of it. She smiled for him a little dozily.  
  
    "I just want to take care of you, that's all. Like you do for me." He let go of her, and she moved to let her fingertips follow the curves of his brows. Jakob let her do it for a minute or so, but after a beat, he frowned mildly.  
  
    "You do take care of me."  
  
    Her hand stilled a second time and moved down to his shoulder. Corrin frowned back at him and shook her head. "Not like you. You just took care of me for hours." Jakob's eyebrows rose at her in such a way that made Corrin blush before he finally laughed.  
  
    "Hours? My lady, you have a _very_ generous opinion of my stamina."  
  
    She wrinkled her nose right back at him and rubbed at the heated tip of her ear. "Well...the rest of the day, I mean."  
  
    He leaned forward to kiss her between the eyes. "That I will concede." He lay back on the bed once more and regarded her seriously. "Why do you think you don't?"  
  
    That was a fair question. Corrin looked away from him in favor of his collar where her fingertips were rolling along the dip between his clavicles. "I..." She trailed off. It was surprisingly hard to verbalize that she felt like a selfish burden on him.  
  
    Jakob stopped her and squeezed at her hip. "Corrin. You don't have to do exactly as I do to take care of someone. You're a very loving woman. What on earth gave you the idea that you are anything otherwise?"  
  
    He was so sweet. Corrin's neck flushed even as she kissed the upturned tip of Jakob's nose. "...Thank you. I just...you don't think I'm a flower?" Jakob cocked his head at her with a quizzical expression. "Er, nevermind."  
  
    She settled onto her sheets to try and get comfortable when Jakob's arms came around her and tugged her to his chest. "Do I think you're a flower? Flowers are beautiful. They're also quite resilient, you know. They can thrive in the most adversarial of places. I've seen them bloom from between cracks in a stone. They grow and change. I've seen some that brighten up entire rooms just by being inside of them."  
  
    Her entire body felt hot. For the second time that night, the backs of Corrin's eyes burned. She pressed herself harder to Jakob's chest as he stroked her hair back and went on.  
  
    "Flowers give themselves to everyone without exception. They nurture the ground they blossom from and sweeten the air around them. In these respects, I would say yes, I do think you're a flower, and you're one that everyone in this fortress is lucky to have."  
  
    Corrin laughed and wiped at her cheek before she surged up to kiss him deeply. Jakob was right -- flowers did grow and change every second they lived. The world might surge around her, but she could dig her roots in deeper. Nothing dictated that she had to bow or break. And she could bloom all the brighter for it. She could find her own way to care for this man who had so thoroughly ensnared her.  
  
    She broke away from him and dragged her thumb along the smooth edge of his jaw. "I love you, Jakob."  
  
    He kissed her once more. "I love you, Corrin."  
  
    She fell asleep in the arms of her gardener.


	10. epilogue

* * *

 

    The sunlight very nearly blasted through her windows. Corrin squinted and leaned backwards into Felicia's middle as the girl brushed through her tangled hair. She giggled at her. "We wore you out last night, didn't we?"  
  
    Corrin opened her eyes and blinked at her. The very tips of her ears turned pink. "You certainly did," she agreed.  
  
    She yawned then and rubbed at her eyes. She was definitely exhausted, but it was the deeply satisfying sort she hardly minded. There was still an ache between her legs that made her stomach quiver.  
  
    "It was fun, though, wasn't it?" Felicia looked so wistful that it brought a smile to Corrin's mouth.  
  
    "It was. It was amazing. I'll never forget it."  
  
    Deftly, Felicia braided a lock of her hair all the way down and wound it around the side of her head to tie it up. Corrin felt more like herself with her hair no longer destroyed. But as Felicia moved to pin her usual black bow to her head, Corrin stopped her.  
  
    "Wait-" Corrin opened up the drawer to her vanity to paw around. Felicia looked over her shoulder curiously.  
  
    "Are you feeling something different?"  
  
    Corrin was. She knew she had it somewhere. After a few moments of digging, Corrin smiled brightly, and she produced a beautiful black rose. Felicia took it from her and pinned it to the side of her head.  
  
    "Gorgeous!" Felicia wound her arms around Corrin's shoulders. "I like it."  
  
    With a smile, she reached up to squeeze at Felicia's arms. She rather liked it too.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This is the first project this size I've ever finished. Whoohoo!
> 
> I've never written so much in such a short amount of time. I really enjoyed working on this project, and I hope dearly that you enjoyed the ride. Thank you so much for taking the time to read To Tend a Gardener. All your comments mean so much to me. I really appreciate your patience and your kind words. These two dorks were such a treat to write, and the feedback you gave me was so invaluable.
> 
> Thank you again for everything!  
> Radiata ♥


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